Either a poor reference must be given--possibly preventing a servant from earning her living--or one has to write what is not true. Consequently it has become the custom to say what one truthfully can of good, and leave out the qualifications that are bad (except in the case of a careless nurse, where evasion would border on the criminal). That solves the poor recommendation problem pretty well; but unless one is very careful this consideration for the "poor" one, is paid for by the "good." In writing for a very worthy servant therefore, it is of the utmost importance in fairness to her (or him) to put in every merit that you can think of, remembering that omission implies demerit in each trait of character not mentioned. All good references should include honesty, sobriety, capability, and a reason, other than their unsatisfactoriness, for their leaving. The recommendation for a nurse can not be too conscientiously written. A lady does not begin a recommendation: "To whom it may concern," nor "This is to certify," although housekeepers and head servants writing recommendations use both of these forms, and "third person" letters, are frequently written by secretaries. A lady in giving a good reference should write: Two Hundred Park Square. Selma Johnson has lived with me for two years as cook. I have found her honest, sober, industrious, neat in her person as well as her work, of amiable disposition and a very good cook. She is leaving to my great regret because I am closing my house for the winter. Selma is an excellent servant in every way and I shall be glad to answer personally any inquiries about her. Josephine Smith. (Mrs. Titherington Smith) October, 1921. The form of all recommendations is the same: ---- has lived with me ---- months years as ----. I have found him/ her ----. He/She is leaving because ----. (Any special remark of added recommendation or showing interest) ---- (Mrs. ----) Date. =LETTERS OF CONGRATULATION= =LETTER OF CONGRATULATION ON ENGAGEMENT= Dear Mary: While we are not altogether surprized, we are both delighted to hear the good news. Jim's family and ours are very close, as you know, and we have always been especially devoted to Jim. He is one of the finest--and now luckiest, of young men, and we send you both every good wish for all possible happiness. Affectionately, Ethel Norman. Just a line, dear Jim, to tell you how glad we all are to hear of your happiness. Mary is everything that is lovely and, of course, from our point of view, we don't think her exactly unfortunate either! Every good wish that imagination can think of goes to you from your old friends. Ethel and Arthur Norman.