Or maybe it is the death of a man who has left a place in the whole community that will be difficult, if not impossible, to fill, and you think of all he stood for that was fine and helpful to others, and how much and sorely he will be missed. Or suppose that you are a returned soldier, and it is a pal who has died. All you can think of is "Poor old Steve--what a peach he was! I don't think anything will ever be the same again without him." Say just that! Ask if there is anything you can do at any time to be of service to his people. There is nothing more to be said. A line, into which you have unconsciously put a little of the genuine feeling that you had for Steve, is worth pages of eloquence. A letter of condolence may be abrupt, badly constructed, ungrammatical--never mind. Grace of expression counts for nothing; sincerity alone is of value. It is the expression, however clumsily put, of a personal something which was loved, and will ever be missed, that alone brings solace to those who are left. Your message may speak merely of a small incident--something so trifling that in the seriousness of the present, seems not worth recording; but your letter and that of many others, each bringing a single sprig, may plant a whole memory-garden in the hearts of the bereaved. =EXAMPLES OF NOTES AND TELEGRAMS= As has been said above, a letter of condolence must above everything express a genuine sentiment. The few examples are inserted merely as suggestive guides for those at a loss to construct a short but appropriate note or telegram. _Conventional Note to an Acquaintance_ I know how little the words of an outsider mean to you just now--but I must tell you how deeply I sympathize with you in your great loss. _Note or Telegram to a Friend_ All my sympathy and all my thoughts are with you in your great sorrow. If I can be of any service to you, you know how grateful I shall be. _Telegram to a Very Near Relative or Friend_ Words are so empty! If only I knew how to fill them with love and send them to you. Or: If love and thoughts could only help you, Margaret dear, you should have all the strength of both that I can give. _Letter Where Death Was Release_ The letter to one whose loss is "for the best" is difficult in that you want to express sympathy but can not feel sad that one who has long suffered has found release. The expression of sympathy in this case should not be for the present death, but for the illness, or whatever it was that fell long ago. The grief for a paralysed mother is for the stroke which cut her down many years before, and your sympathy, though you may not have realized it, is for that. You might write: Your sorrow during all these years--and now--is in my heart; and all my thoughts and sympathy are with you. =HOW TO ADDRESS IMPORTANT PERSONAGES=