We called her Ella in those days, as trim a little minx As ever fascinated man with coquetries, methinks! I saw her home from singing-school a million times I guess, And purred around her domicile three winters, more or less, And brought her lozenges and things--alas: 'twas all in vain-- She was predestined to become a Mrs. Billy Crane! That Mr. Billy came in smart and handsome, I'll aver, Yet, with all his brains and beauty, he's not good enough for her: Now, though I'm somewhat homely and in gumption quite a dolt, The quality of goodness is my best and strongest holt, And as goodness is the only human thing that doesn't wane, I wonder she preferred to wed with Mr. Billy Crane. Yet heaven has blessed her all these years--she's just as blithe and gay As when the belle of Utica, and she ain't grown old a day! Her face is just as pretty and her eyes as bright as then-- Egad! their gracious magic makes me feel a boy again, And still I court (as still I were a callow, York State swain) With hecatombs of lozenges that Mrs. Billy Crane! That she has heaps of faculty her husband can't deny-- Whenever he don't toe the mark she knows the reason why: She handles all the moneys and receipts, which as a rule She carries around upon her arm in a famous reticule, And Billy seldom gets a cent unless he can explain The wherefores and etceteras to Mrs. Billy Crane! Yet O ye gracious actors! with uppers on your feet, And O ye bankrupt critics! athirst for things to eat-- Did you ever leave her presence all unrequited when In an hour of inspiration you struck her for a ten? No! never yet an applicant there was did not obtain A solace for his misery from Mrs. Billy Crane. Dear little Lady-Ella! (let me call you that once more, In memory of the happy days in Utica of yore) If I could have the ordering of blessings here below, I might keep some small share myself, but most of 'em should go To you--yes, riches, happiness, and health should surely rain Upon the temporal estate of Mrs. Billy Crane! You're coming to Chicago in a week or two and then. In honor of that grand event, I shall blossom out again In a brand-new suit of checkered tweed and a low-cut satin vest I shall be the gaudiest spectacle in all the gorgeous West! And with a splendid coach and four I'll meet you at the train-- So don't forget the reticule, dear Mrs. Billy Crane!_ And he may doubt, who never knew this master torment, that Field carried out his threat to appear at Crane's "first night" with that low-cut satin vest and that speckled tweed suit, which did indeed make him a gaudy spectacle. But his solemn face gave no sign that his mixed apparel was making him the cynosure of all curious eyes.