Eugene Field, a Study in Heredity and Contradictions — Volume 2Thompson, Slason
General
Eugene Field, a Study in Heredity and Contradictions — Volume 2
Thompson, Slason
Field, Eugene, 1850-1895; Journalists -- United States -- Biography; Poets, American -- 19th century -- Biography
The Hon. Thomas B. Reed, of Maine, is to be the leader of the
Republican minority in Congress this winter. He is a smart, fat,
brilliant, lazy man, with a Shakespearian head and face and
clean-cut record. He is a great improvement on the Hon. J. Warren
Keifer, of Ohio, who was the Republican leader (so-called) last
winter. It would be hard to imagine a more imbecile leader than
Keifer was, and it would be hard to find an abler leader than Reed
will be, provided his natural physical indolence does not get the
better of his splendid intellectual vigor.
Marcus A. Hanna has just been elected a delegate to the National
Republican Convention in the Tenth Ohio district. He has also just
been appointed to a government position by President Cleveland. The
National Republican Convention ought to determine, immediately upon
assembling, whether its platform and its nominations shall be
dictated, even remotely, by a beneficiary of a Democratic
administration. Hanna was in 1884 a loudmouthed Blaine follower. He
has a happy faculty of always lighting on his feet--after the
fashion of the singed cat.
President Cleveland--Rose, are you sure the window-screens are in
repair?
Miss Cleveland--Quite sure.
President Cleveland--And are you using that flypaper according to
directions?
Miss Cleveland--Yes.
President Cleveland--And you sprinkle the furniture with insect
powder every day?
Miss Cleveland--Certainly; why do you ask? Are the mosquitoes
troubling you?
President Cleveland--No, not the mosquitoes; but that Second
District Congressman from Illinois seems to be just as thick as
ever.
We've come from Indiany, five hundred miles or more,
Supposin' we wuz goin' to git the nominashin shore;
For Colonel New assured us (in that noospaper o' his)
That we cud hev the airth, if we'd only tend to biz.
But here we've been slavin' more like hosees than like men
To diskiver that the people do not hanker after Ben;
It is for Jeemes G. Blaine an' not for Harrison they shout
And the gobble-uns 'el git us
Ef we
Don't
Watch
Out!
"As for me, Daniel, I declined the tickets on the ground that, as
President of this great nation, it was beneath my dignity to accept
free passes to a show." "You did quite right, Grover; I, too,
declined the passes in my capacity as a cabinet officer." "Good,
good!" "But I accepted them in my capacity as editor of the Albany
Argus. I owe it to my profession, Grover, not to surrender any of
its rights to a strained sense of the dignity of an employment which
is only temporary." "Ah, yes; I see." "There must be a dividing line
between the Honorable Daniel Manning, cabinet minister, and plain
Dan Manning, editor. I draw that line at free show-tickets."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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