English fiction -- 19th century; Tailors -- Fiction
In military parlance, the Countess was taken in flank. Another would
have asked—What ladyship? To whom do you allude, may I beg to inquire?
The Countess knew better. Rapid as light it shot through her that the
relict of Sir Abraham was meant, and this she divined because she was
aware that devilish malignity was watching to trip her.
A little conversation happening to buzz at the instant, the Countess
merely turned her chin to an angle, agitated her brows very gently, and
crowned the performance with a mournful smile. All that a woman must
feel at the demise of so precious a thing as a husband, was therein
eloquently expressed: and at the same time, if explanations ensued,
there were numerous ladyships in the world, whom the Countess did not
mind afflicting, should she be hard pressed.
“I knew him so well!” resumed the horrid woman, addressing anybody. “It
was so sad! so unexpected! but he was so subject to affection of the
throat. And I was so sorry I could not get down to him in time. I had
not seen him since his marriage, when I was a girl!—and to meet one of
his children!—But, my dear, in quinsey, I have heard that there is
nothing on earth like a good hearty laugh.”
Mr. Raikes hearing this, sucked down the flavour of a glass of
champagne, and with a look of fierce jollity, interposed, as if
specially charged by Providence to make plain to the persecuted
Countess his mission and business there: “Then our vocation is at last
revealed to us! Quinsey-doctor! I remember when a boy, wandering over
the paternal mansion, and envying the life of a tinker, which my mother
did not think a good omen in me. But the traps of a Quinsey-doctor are
even lighter. Say twenty good jokes, and two or three of a practical
kind. A man most enviable!”
“It appears,” he remarked aloud to one of the Conley girls, “that
quinsey is needed before a joke is properly appreciated.”
“I like fun,” said she, but had not apparently discovered it.
What did that odious woman mean by perpetually talking about Sir
Abraham? The Countess intercepted a glance between her and the hated
Juliana. She felt it was a malignant conspiracy: still the vacuous
vulgar air of the woman told her that most probably she was but an
instrument, not a confederate, and was only trying to push herself into
acquaintance with the great: a proceeding scorned and abominated by the
Countess, who longed to punish her for her insolent presumption. The
bitterness of her situation stung her tenfold when she considered that
she dared not.
Meantime the champagne became as regular in its flow as the Bull-dogs,
and the monotonous bass of these latter sounded through the music, like
life behind the murmur of pleasure, if you will. The Countess had a not
unfeminine weakness for champagne, and old Mr. Bonner’s cellar was well
and choicely stocked. But was this enjoyment to the Countess?—this
dreary station in the background! “May I emerge?” she as much as
implored Providence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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