English fiction -- 19th century; Tailors -- Fiction
Religion, the lack of which in him the Countess deplored, would have
guided him and silenced the internal strife. But do not despise a
virtue purely Pagan. The young who can act readily up to the Christian
light are happier, doubtless: but they are led, they are passive: I
think they do not make such capital Christians subsequently. They are
never in such danger, we know; but some in the flock are more than
sheep. The heathen ideal it is not so very easy to attain, and those
who mount from it to the Christian have, in my humble thought, a firmer
footing.
So Evan fought his hard fight from the top of the stairs to the bottom.
A Pagan, which means our poor unsupported flesh, is never certain of
his victory. Now you will see him kneeling to his Gods, and anon
drubbing them; or he makes them fight for him, and is complacent at the
issue. Evan had ceased to pick his knot with one hand and pull it with
the other: but not finding Lady Jocelyn below, and hearing that she had
retired for the night, he mounted the stairs, and the strife
recommenced from the bottom to the top. Strange to say, he was almost
unaware of any struggle going on within him. The suggestion of the
foolish little imp alone was loud in the heart of his consciousness;
the rest hung more in his nerves than in his brain. He thought: “Well,
I will speak it out to her in the morning”; and thought so sincerely,
while an ominous sigh of relief at the reprieve rose from his
over-burdened bosom.
Hardly had the weary deep breath taken flight, when the figure of Lady
Jocelyn was seen advancing along the corridor, with a lamp in her hand.
She trod heavily, in a kind of march, as her habit was; her large
fully-open grey eyes looking straight ahead. She would have passed him,
and he would have let her pass, but seeing the unusual pallor on her
face, his love for this lady moved him to step forward and express a
hope that she had no present cause for sorrow.
Hearing her mother’s name, Lady Jocelyn was about to return a
conventional answer. Recognizing Evan, she said:
“Ah! Mr. Harrington! Yes, I fear it’s as bad as it can be. She can
scarcely outlive the night.”
Again he stood alone: his chance was gone. How could he speak to her in
her affliction? Her calm sedate visage had the beauty of its youth,
when lighted by the animation that attends meetings or farewells. In
her bow to Evan, he beheld a lovely kindness more unique, if less
precious, than anything he had ever seen on the face of Rose. Half
exultingly, he reflected that no opportunity would be allowed him now
to teach that noble head and truest of human hearts to turn from him:
the clear-eyed morrow would come: the days of the future would be
bright as other days!
Wrapped in the comfort of his cowardice, he started to see Lady Jocelyn
advancing to him again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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