English fiction -- 19th century; Tailors -- Fiction
Mr. Raikes and his friend Frank Remand, surnamed Franko, to suit the
requirements of metre, in which they habitually conversed, were walking
arm-in-arm along the drive in Society’s Park on a fine frosty Sunday
afternoon of midwinter. The quips and jokes of Franko were lively, and
he looked into the carriages passing, as if he knew that a cheerful
countenance is not without charms for their inmates. Raikes’ face, on
the contrary, was barren and bleak. Being of that nature that when a
pun was made he must perforce outstrip it, he fell into Franko’s humour
from time to time, but albeit aware that what he uttered was good, and
by comparison transcendent, he refused to enjoy it. Nor when Franko
started from his arm to declaim a passage, did he do other than make
limp efforts to unite himself to Franko again. A further sign of
immense depression in him was that instead of the creative, it was the
critical faculty he exercised, and rather than reply to Franko in his
form of speech, he scanned occasional lines and objected to particular
phrases. He had clearly exchanged the sanguine for the bilious
temperament, and was fast stranding on the rocky shores of prose.
Franko bore this very well, for he, like Raikes in happier days,
claimed all the glances of lovely woman as his own, and on his right
there flowed a stream of Beauties. At last he was compelled to observe:
“This change is sudden: wherefore so downcast? With tigrine claw thou
mangiest my speech, thy cheeks are like December’s pippin, and thy
tongue most sour!”
“Then of it make a farce!” said Raikes, for the making of farces was
Franko’s profession. “Wherefore so downcast! What a line! There! let’s
walk on. Let us the left foot forward stout advance. I care not for the
herd.”
“’Tis love!” cried Franko.
“Ay, an’ it be!” Jack gloomily returned.
“For ever cruel is the sweet Saldar?”
Raikes winced at this name.
“A truce to banter, Franko!” he said sternly: but the subject was
opened, and the wound.
“Love!” he pursued, mildly groaning. “Suppose you adored a fascinating
woman, and she knew—positively knew—your manly weakness, and you saw
her smiling upon everybody, and she told you to be happy, and egad,
when you came to reflect, you found that after three months’ suit you
were nothing better than her errand-boy? A thing to boast of, is it
not, quotha?”
“Love’s yellow-fever, jealousy, methinks,” Franko commenced in reply;
but Raikes spat at the emphasized word.
“Jealousy!—who’s jealous of clergymen and that crew? Not I, by Pluto! I
carried five messages to one fellow with a coat-tail straight to his
heels, last week. She thought I should drive my curricle—I couldn’t
afford an omnibus! I had to run. When I returned to her I was dirty.
She made remarks!”
“Thy sufferings are severe—but such is woman!” said Franko. “’Gad, it’s
a good idea, though.” He took out a note-book and pencilled down a
point or two. Raikes watched the process sardonically.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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