English fiction -- 19th century; Tailors -- Fiction
At an hour like this, watching the round of light on the ceiling, with
its narrowing inner rings, a sufferer from whom pain has fled looks
back to the shores she is leaving, and would be well with them who walk
there. It is false to imagine that schemers and workers in the dark are
destitute of the saving gift of conscience. They have it, and it is
perhaps made livelier in them than with easy people; and therefore,
they are imperatively spurred to hoodwink it. Hence, their
self-delusion is deep and endures. They march to their object, and
gaining or losing it, the voice that calls to them is the voice of a
blind creature, whom any answer, provided that the answer is ready,
will silence. And at an hour like this, when finally they snatch their
minute of sight on the threshold of black night, their souls may
compare with yonder shining circle on the ceiling, which, as the light
below gasps for air, contracts, and extends but to mingle with the
darkness. They would be nobler, better, boundlessly good to all;—to
those who have injured them to those whom they have injured. Alas! for
any definite deed the limit of their circle is immoveable, and they
must act within it. The trick they have played themselves imprisons
them. Beyond it, they cease to be.
Lying in this utter stillness, Juliana thought of Rose; of her beloved
by Evan. The fever that had left her blood, had left it stagnant, and
her thoughts were quite emotionless. She looked faintly on a far
picture. She saw Rose blooming with pleasures in Elburne House, sliding
as a boat borne by the river’s tide to sea, away from her living joy.
The breast of Rose was lucid to her, and in that hour of insight she
had clear knowledge of her cousin’s heart; how it scoffed at its base
love, and unwittingly betrayed the power on her still, by clinging to
the world and what it would give her to fill the void; how externally
the lake was untroubled, and a mirror to the passing day; and how
within there pressed a flood against an iron dam. Evan, too, she saw.
The Countess was right in her judgement of Juliana’s love. Juliana
looked very little to his qualities. She loved him when she thought him
guilty, which made her conceive that her love was of a diviner cast
than Rose was capable of. Guilt did not spoil his beauty to her; his
gentleness and glowing manhood were unchanged; and when she knew him as
he was, the revelation of his high nature simply confirmed her
impression of his physical perfections. She had done him a wrong; at
her death news would come to him, and it might be that he would bless
her name. Because she sighed no longer for those dear lips and strong
arms to close about her tremulous frame, it seemed to her that she had
quite surrendered him. Generous to Evan, she would be just to Rose.
Beneath her pillow she found pencil and paper, and with difficulty,
scarce seeing her letters in the brown light, she began to trace lines
of farewell to Rose. Her conscience dictated to her thus, “Tell Rose
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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