‘You must not remain up longer than you can bear,’ she said. She took a
seat on a stool, and leaned her head on her hand, her elbow resting on
her knee. ‘Papa, whilst I have been waiting in the hall, I have turned
the whole matter over and over in my mind. Papa, I suppose that Eve’s
mother was very, very beautiful?’
He sighed in the dark and put his hands together. The pale twilight
through the window shone on them; they were white and ghost-like.
‘Papa dear, I suppose that you saw her when she was ill every day, and
got to love her. I dare say you struggled against the feeling, but your
heart was too strong for your head and carried your resolutions away,
just as I have seen a flood on the Tamar against the dam at Abbotswear;
it has burst through all obstructions, and in a moment every trace of
the dam has disappeared. You were under the same roof with her. Then
there came a great ache here’—she touched her heart—’allowing you no
rest. Well, dear papa, I think it must have been so with Mr. Babb, he
saw our dear sweet Eve daily, and love for her swelled in his heart; he
formed the strongest resolutions, and platted them with the toughest
considerations, and stamped and wedged them in with vigorous effort,
but all was of no avail—the flood rose and burst over it and carried
all away.’
Mr. Jordan was touched by the allusion to his dead or lost wife, but
not in the manner Barbara intended.
‘I have heard,’ continued Barbara, ‘that Eve’s mother was brought to
this house very ill, and that you cared for her till she was recovered.
Was it in this room? Was it in this bed?’
She heard a low moan, and saw the white hands raised in deprecation, or
in prayer.
‘Then you sat here and watched her; and when she was in fever you
suffered; when her breath came so faint that you thought she was dying,
your very soul stood on tiptoe, agonised. When her eyes opened with
reason in them, your heart leaped. When she slept, you sat here with
your eyes on her face and could not withdraw them. Perhaps you took her
hand in the night, when she was vexed with horrible dreams, and the
pulse of your heart sent its waves against her hot, tossing, troubled
heart, and little by little cooled that fire, and brought peace to that
unrest. Papa, I dare say that somehow thus it came about that Eve got
interested in Mr. Jasper and grew to love him. I often let her take my
place when he was ill. You must excuse dearest Eve. It was my fault.
I should have been more cautious. But I thought nothing of it then. I
knew nothing of how love is sown, and throws up its leaves, and spreads
and fills the whole heart with a tangle of roots.’
In this last half hour Barbara had drawn nearer to her father than in
all her previous life. For once she had entered into his thoughts,
roused old recollections, both sweet and bitter—inexpressibly sweet,
unutterably bitter—and his heart was full of tears.
‘Was Eve’s mother as beautiful as our darling?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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