“_Santa Virgen del Pilar_! you are an atheist!” cried the other, laying
a hand on Lucien’s arm with maternal solicitude. “Ah! here is one of the
curious things I promised myself to see in Paris. We, in Spain, do not
believe in atheists. There is no country but France where one can have
such opinions at nineteen years.”
“Oh! I am an atheist in the fullest sense of the word. I have no belief
in God, in society, in happiness. Take a good look at me, father; for in
a few hours’ time life will be over for me. My last sun has risen,” said
Lucien; with a sort of rhetorical effect he waved his hand towards the
sky.
“How so; what have you done that you must die? Who has condemned you to
die?”
“A tribunal from which there is no appeal--I myself.”
“You, child!” cried the priest. “Have you killed a man? Is the scaffold
waiting for you? Let us reason together a little. If you are resolved,
as you say, to return to nothingness, everything on earth is indifferent
to you, is it not?”
Lucien bowed assent.
“Very well, then; can you not tell me about your troubles? Some little
affair of the heart has taken a bad turn, no doubt?”
Lucien shrugged his shoulders very significantly.
“Are you resolved to kill yourself to escape dishonor, or do you despair
of life? Very good. You can kill yourself at Poitiers quite as easily
as at Angoulême, and at Tours it will be no harder than at Poitiers. The
quicksands of the Loire never give up their prey----”
“No, father,” said Lucien; “I have settled it all. Not three weeks ago I
chanced upon the most charming raft that can ferry a man sick and tired
of this life into the other world----”
“The other world? You are not an atheist.”
“Oh! by another world I mean my next transformation, animal or plant.”
“Have you some incurable disease?”
“Yes, father.”
“Ah! now we come to the point. What is it?”
“Poverty.”
The priest looked at Lucien. “The diamond does not know its own value,”
he said, and there was an inexpressible charm, and a touch of something
like irony in his smile.
“None but a priest could flatter a poor man about to die,” exclaimed
Lucien.
“You are not going to die,” the Spaniard returned authoritatively.
“I have heard many times of men that were robbed on the highroad, but I
have never yet heard of one that found a fortune there,” said Lucien.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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