Step. And you said, I stole it: nay, now my uncle is here, I'll do
well enough with you.
Clem. Well, let this breathe awhile. You that have cause to
complain there, stand forth: Had you my warrant for this
gentleman's apprehension?
Bob. Ay, an't please your worship.
Clem. Nay, do not speak in passion so: where had you it?
Bob. Of your clerk, sir.
Clem. That's well! an my clerk can make warrants, and my hand not
at them! Where is the warrant-officer, have you it?
Brai. No, sir; your worship's man, Master Formal, bid me do it for
these gentlemen, and he would be my discharge.
Clem. Why, Master Downright, are you such a novice, to be ser'ved
and never see the warrant?
Dow. Sir, he did not serve it on me.
Clem. No! how then?
Dow. Marry, sir, he came to me, and said he must serve it, and he
would use me kindly, and so--
Clem. O, God's pity, was it so, sir? He must serve it! Give me my
long sword there, and help me off. So, come on, sir varlet, I must
cut off your legs, sirrah; [Brainworm kneels.] nay, stand up, I'll
use you kindly, I must cut off your legs, I say.
[Flourishes over him with his long sword.
Brai. O, good sir, I beseech you; nay, good master justice!
Clem. I must do it, there is no remedy; I must cut off your legs,
sirrrah, I must cut off your ears, you rascal, I must do it: I must
cut off your nose, I must cut off your head.
Brai. O, good your worship!
Clem. Well, rise; how dost thou do now? dost thou feel thyself
well? hast thou no harm?
Brai. No, I thank your good worship, sir.
Clem. Why so! I said I must cut off thy legs, and I must cut off
thy arms, and I must cut off thy head; but I did not do it: so you
said you must serve this gentleman with my warrant, but you did not
serve him. You knave, you slave, you rogue, do you say you must,
sirrah! away with him to the jail; I'll teach you a trick for your
must, sir.
Brai. Good sir, I beseech you, be good to me.
Clem. Tell him he shall to the jail; away with him, I say.
Brai. Nay, sir, if you will commit me, it shall be for committing
more than this: I will not lose by my travail any grain of my fame,
certain.
[Throws off his serjeant's gown.
Clem. How is this?
Know. My man Brainworm!
Step. O, yes, uncle; Brainworm has been with my cousin Edward and I
all this day.
Clem. I told you all there was some device.
Brai. Nay, excellent justice, since I have laid myself thus open to
you, now stand strong for me; both with your sword and your
balance.
Clem. Body O' me, a merry knave! give me a bowl of sack: if he
belong to you, Master Knowell, I bespeak your patience.
Brai. That is it I have most need of; Sir, if you'll pardon me,
only, I'll glory in all the rest of my exploits.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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