The prospect depressed Ewing anew. It had been easy to lie on his back
in a field, nettled by disgust with himself, and frame speeches of
self-mastery. But reflection had brought him doubt. The speeches would
have to be made, and yet, in a way, he was Teevan's property; Teevan had
invested money in him. This added to his depression. And this was why
the girl reported him to her sister as a youth joyful in odd moments of
forgetting, but sunk in some black despair when he remembered; a young
man she could not at all understand. And Mrs. Laithe, puzzling over his
trouble, divining that Teevan would somehow be at the bottom of it,
determined on a move to aid him, a move that would take her once more to
Teevan himself. She had sought him the night after her talk with
Sydenham, but the interview had come to nothing. Teevan had been so
plausibly solicitous about Ewing's success that she had found herself
unready to tax him with a knowledge of Ewing's identity, or with motives
inimical to him. His excessive amiability, his air of unsuspecting
sincerity, had disarmed her. But this time, she determined, there would
be no more fencing. She would attack straightforwardly.
The day they left the girl lightly bade Ewing farewell with talk of
meetings in town. He had not told her of a resolve formed the day before
when they had ridden to a hill above the village from which they could
see veritable mountains in the distance--his own delectable mountains
they had seemed, calling to him. Instantly he had determined to go back
to his own. Not in defeat, but for fresh courage. He would stay there
working as he could, until Teevan was paid. Then the Rookery would know
him again, and the men of the Monastery--know him going his own way.
He was meditating gloomily on his retreat as the train bore him back to
town with Mrs. Laithe. And she, alive to the distress that showed in his
face, forgot everything but him, the one she had helplessly and
irrevocably taken for her own, half her entreating child, half her
master, terrible and beloved. She watched his face from half-closed
eyes, finding it unutterably sad, and, without her being able to
withhold it, her mind constantly repeated the image of an embrace, to
soothe and sustain him. Incessantly this unsubstantial enfoldment took
place in her inner sense, like some wild drama among ocean-bed things,
far below an unrippled surface. Over and over the phantom woman beat
down his enemies, encircled him from harm, consoled him against her
heart, cherished him like the dear walls of a home. And she could not
halt this phantom play. Once she divided her arms and raised them a
little, as one in a dream faintly acts his vision. Ewing thought she was
drawing her chiffon boa about her, and he replaced it on her shoulders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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