When she was sixteen, affairs reached a crisis. A series of religious
conferences had been held in Bradford during the early months of 1806,
and she regularly attended them. Each meeting deepened the impression
on her mind as to the need of a higher life. Her old amusements seemed
now utterly distasteful to her, and the fear of being for ever lost
weighed heavily on her soul. She was invited to a party by an old
friend; but her heart was too sad to care for such things, so on the
morning of the party she stole off to the house of one of her aunts,
who, she thought, might be able to help her in her trouble. Her aunt
spoke seriously to her of the necessity of obtaining salvation while she
could, and the poor girl became more downcast than ever. "I returned
home with a bursting heart," she afterwards said, "fearing that I should
lose my impressions with the other scholars, and convinced that if I did
so my soul was lost."
She shut herself in her bedroom, refused to touch any but the plainest
food, and for some days pleaded with God for pardon. Gradually the light
came in her soul. "I began to discover a beauty in the way of salvation
by Christ," she said. "He appeared to be just such a Saviour as I
needed. I saw how God could be just in saving sinners through Him. I
committed my soul into His hands, and besought Him to do with me what
seemed good in His sight. When I was thus enabled to commit myself into
the hands of Christ, my mind was relieved from that distressing weight
which had borne it down for so long a time. I did not think that I had
obtained a new heart, which I had been seeking, but felt happy in
contemplating the character of Christ, and particularly that disposition
which had led Him to suffer so much for the sake of doing the will and
promoting the glory of His Heavenly Father."
With so deep an experience it was only natural that the whole course of
her outward life should be completely changed. She soon made an open
profession of religion by becoming a member of the Congregational Church
at Bradford; and her friends could see the reality of her conversion by
her consistent daily walk.
She now threw herself with greater zeal into her ordinary studies, and
this soon resulted in her being requested to take temporary charge of a
small school at Salem. When the work there was done, a teachership was
found for her in another place near at hand, and it was while thus
engaged that she became acquainted, with her future husband,
Adoniram Judson.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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