After her husband's death her wish was to return at once to Huntly Lodge, where she had spent the first years of her married life, and which was now hers by the marriage settlement. But a lease which the tenant was unwilling to resign prevented this for a time. Accordingly she made up her mind to travel abroad for some months. During the winter of 1836 she lived at Pau. The return home was made the following summer. Naturally she dreaded coming back to the now desolate home--the same place, but all so changed. But God was good, and the grace sufficient for the day was given. "_Huntly Lodge, 31st August_, 1837.--The Lord has been better to me than all my fears. Wagstaff (the duke's factor), accompanied by both Mr. Bigsby (of the English Chapel at Gordon Castle) and Mr. Dewar (minister of Fochabers), received me. My heart was so full of the Lord's goodness, that there was no room for bitterness; and after a few moments alone, I could not rest till we had thanked our tender Father; Mr. Bigsby was the organ of our thanksgiving. The three gentlemen, Annie (Sinclair), and I joined in prayer then, and at night with all the people of house, stable, and farm; this morning Mr. Dewar's prayer was very much what I needed. My blessed Lord Jesus is very present, and I know I cannot come to my Father without Him. Oh, pray that I may be more and more awakened, and never fall asleep again. Oh, for the quickening grace of the Holy Spirit to realise continually that blessed presence! 4th _Sept_.--My heart is full of thankfulness and wonder as to myself. I dreaded above all things the bitterness of desolation on my return here; and behold the Lord made His presence so manifest that I am now, as in times past, rejoicing in His unmerited love." VI. WIDOWHOOD AT HUNTLY LODGE. The arrangements at Huntly Lodge were now, of course, entirely in the hands of the widowed duchess. Essentially the motto which was the principle of the establishment was, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." It was a matter of some doubt with her whether she should keep up the style natural to her rank, or let the Lodge and retire into a humbler life. After carefully and prayerfully weighing the matter, her decision was that "position is stewardship," and that it was her duty not to despise the high estate to which God had been pleased to call her, but to consecrate it to His service. This determination was a wise one. Her light was placed so that many could see its steady and bright burning.