On August 15, 1850, Frances went to school at Belmont. The night before
she left, her sister Ellen spoke to her of God's love, and she gave to
her the first indication of her real feelings in the words, "I can't
love God yet, Nellie!" But it was not to be so for long, however.
During the first half-year at school a "revival," as she calls it, took
place among the school girls, and she began to be more in earnest about
her soul. One night she got into conversation with a Christian
companion, and bursting into tears told her in French that she wished to
love Jesus but could not. Her companion begged her to go to Jesus and
tell Him this. Of this advice she says, "The words of wise and even
eminent men have since then fallen on my ear, but few have brought the
dewy refreshment to my soul which the simple loving words of my little
Heaven-taught schoolfellow did." But peace had not yet come into
her soul.
At length, in February, 1851, Frances made a confidante of Miss Cook,
who in July, 1851, became her stepmother, and confessed that she desired
pardon of her sins above everything else. She thus writes in her
autobiography: "'Then, Fanny,' said Miss Cook, 'I think, _I am sure_, it
will not be very long before your desire is granted, your hope
fulfilled." After a few more words, she said, "Why cannot you trust
yourself to your Saviour at once? Supposing that now, at this moment,
Christ were to come in the clouds of heaven, and take up His redeemed,
could you not trust Him? Would not His call, His promise be enough for
you? Could you not commit your soul to Him, to your Saviour, Jesus?'
Then came a flash of hope across me which made me feel literally
breathless. I remember how my heart beat. 'I _could_ surely,' was my
response; and I left her suddenly and ran away upstairs to think it out.
I flung myself on my knees in my room, and strove to realise the sudden
hope. I was very happy at last. I could commit my soul to Jesus. I did
not and need not fear His coming. I could trust Him with my all for
eternity. It was so utterly new to have any bright thoughts about
religion that I could hardly believe it could be so, that I really had
gained such a step. Then and there I committed my soul to the Saviour--I
do not mean to say without _any_ trembling or fear, but I did--and earth
and heaven seemed bright from that moment--_I did trust the
Lord Jesus_."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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