Women -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- England -- Fiction
I forgot to say there is a great cupboard in this room with battened
shelves for fruit. (I told you the domestic offices were all mixed up),
and there are Cox’s orange apple trees in the garden. I seem to see a
man who will get up suddenly and leave the fire on a winter’s night and
hie him to the cupboard ’for a map,’ but his pockets will bulge
suspiciously on his return, and there will be a kind of ’ain’t going to
be no core’ look in his eyes. Then he will lean back in the chair
covered with the bird and basket chintz and blatantly and vulgarly eat a
Cox’s, skin and all, regardless of the fact that he’s already had at
least one properly at dinner with finger bowls and silver knives and
plates. Then I shall say in righteous indignation, ’Where’s the map?’
and he will say, ’Why, in my pocket, can’t you see it sticking out?’ ’I
can see something round,’ I say severely. ’Well, what would you have?’
he drawls, ’the world’s round, isn’t it? It follows that the maps
should be round, too.’ And he picks up his book again and reads. But I,
because the flesh is weak and the man tempted me too far, and because
his second apple looks so good, I shall shriek out, ’Oh, now I know how
Adam felt, Michael, you old serpent, give me one.’ ’You can’t eat
maps,’ he says. ’Oh, yes, I can,’ I say, and snuggle down beside the
fire and lean against his knee and munch in jolly comradeship, while the
tale of cores mounts steadily and sizzles with delightful splutterings
in the fire. Ah, well!
*CHAPTER XV*
Everything now is signed, sealed, and delivered. Gidger’s cottage really
belongs to me.
I have engaged a most enchanting charwoman: she cleans silver and brass
better than any one else in the world, and polishes furniture till it
dazzles, but she can’t scrub, she has an ’inside.’ It is of deep and
lasting interest to her, and must be such a consolation on a wet day
when one wants a hobby in the house. She is never tired of talking of
it. It has a way of cropping up in every conversation, like the head of
Charles the First in Mr Dick’s memorial. Ross calls her ’Our Lady of
Ventre,’ which sounds more like a Belgian cathedral than it really is!
She is very emaciated and her looks are more ’delicate’ than her
conversation.
’You see, mum, it’s my inside,’ she says; ’what I’ve suffered no one
don’t know but those what ’as it; why, one hoperation alone they took
out——’ but I spare you. So I have a second woman to scrub, and between
them they are getting the house like a new pin, and it will burst upon
the staff in all its pristine and primeval cleanness. I am a little
afraid of the staff. I understand that English servants in these days
need ’standing up to.’ I can manage a man all right, having had a vast
experience, and Ross keeps my hand in, but a woman—how does one stand up
to her?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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