"I hardly ever dream of anything that has happened the day before,
although I sometimes have several different dreams on the same night;
nor do I dream of the same things often. However, I dream oftenest
of the unpleasant and horrible, no matter how happy and successful
the day may have been. Indeed, I have found it unadvisable to read
terrible stories or tragedies often, or in the evening. They impress
me so painfully, and retain so firm a hold of my imagination that
they sooner or later force themselves into my dreams. About two years
ago I read 'Sixty Years a Queen' the story of the awful massacre
at Cawnpore, which took place during the Indian Mutiny. It filled
me with a horror that haunted me persistently for several days. At
last I managed to banish these disagreeable feelings; but one night
a frightful distortion of the selfsame story appeared before my
mind. I thought I was in a small prison. At first I only noticed a
skeleton hanging up on one of the walls; then I felt a strange, awful
sound, like heavy iron being cast down, and the most heartrending
cries ensued. I was informed that twenty men were being put to death
with the utmost cruelty. I rushed madly from one room to another,
and, as each ruffian came out, I locked the door behind him, in the
hope that some of the victims might thereby be saved. All my efforts
were futile, and I awoke with a sickening horror weighing down on
my heart. I have also fancied that I saw cities on fire, and brave,
innocent men dragged to a fiery martyrdom. One instant I would
stand in speechless bewilderment, as the flames leaped up, dark and
glaring, into a black sky. The next moment I would be in the midst of
the conflagration, trying to save some of the sufferers, and seeing
in dismay how they slipped away beyond my power. At such times I have
thought myself the most wretched person in the world; but in the
morning the bright sunshine and fresh air of our own dear, beautiful
world would chase away those horrible phantoms.
"On the whole, my dreams are consistent with my feelings and
sympathies; but once I thought I was engaged in a great boat-race
between Yale and Harvard. Now, in reality I am always on Harvard's
side in the great games; but at that time I dreamed that I was a
thorough Yale man! Perhaps this inconsistency arose from the fact
that a long time ago I had declared how glad I was of Harvard's
failure to win a certain boat-race, because the Yale men rowed with
the American stroke and the Harvard men had learned the English
stroke. At any rate, sleeping or waking, I love my friends, and never
think they change or grow unkind. From time to time I make friends
in my dreams; but usually I am too busy running around and watching
other people to have any long conversations or 'reveries.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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