And Dearborn had responded, "I don't need to go courting in
four-hundred-franc suits, Tony; Nora is my kind, you know."
And when Antony had flashed out, "What the devil do you mean?" Dearborn
explained--
"Only that Nora and I are poor together. I didn't intend to be rude, old
man."
Dearborn had gone to London third-class with his play under his arm and
hope in his heart. Antony had not been sorry to find himself alone. When
he was not with Mary he paced the floor, his idle hands in his pockets.
At night he was restless, and he did not disturb any one when at two
o'clock he would rise to smoke, and, leaning out of the window, watch
the dawn come up over the Louvre, over the river and the quays. His
easels, his tools, his covered busts mocked him as the dust settled down
upon them. His part of the big room had fallen into disuse. In the
salons of Mary Faversham nothing seemed important but the possession of
riches; they talked of art there, but they discussed it easily, and no
one ever spoke of work. They talked of books there, but the makers of
them seemed men of another sphere. His aunt and the Comte Potowski sang
there indeed, but to Antony their voices were only echoes. He had grown
accustomed to objects whose possession meant small fortunes. His own few
belongings seemed pitiful and sordid. Poverty at Albany had appalled
him, but as yet his soul had been untarnished. Life seemed then a
beautiful struggle. Here in Paris, too, as he worked with Dearborn in
his studio, the lack of money had been unimportant, and privation only a
step on which men of talent poised before going on. Lessons had been
precious to him, and in his meagre existence all his untrammelled senses
had been keen. Now his lack of material resource was terrible,
degrading, sickening.
He threw open wide the window and let in the May sunlight, and the noise
of the streets came with it. Below his window paused the "goat's
milkman," calling sweetly on his little pipe; a girl cried lilies of the
valley; there was a cracking of whips, the clattering of horses' feet,
and the rattling of the little cabs. The peculiar impersonality of the
few of the big city, the passing of the anonymous throng, had a soothing
effect upon him. The river flowed quietly, swiftly past the Louvre, on
which great white clouds massed themselves like snow. Fairfax drew a
long breath and turned to the studio, put on his old corduroy clothes,
filled himself a pipe, and uncovered one of his statues in the corner,
and with his tools in his hand took his position before his discarded
work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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