And so time fares on with this Brand which has been plucked from the
burning.
Little by little he takes back to him life and strength; little by
little he spells out this strange, sweet, new life, and analyzes it, and
basks in the lambent sunshine. Not little by little grows his love for
the Perdita of his fever dreams; she has taken the tide at its lowest
ebb, and it has swept her into his deep, strong heart, which nevermore
can shut her out.
He watches her beaming eyes with wistful constancy; he clings to her
garments; he kisses her light hands, which touch him in gentle
ministrations. The hard man is conquered, and by a woman.
But when he grows fearful that, after all, she may be wearying of this
toil and care for him; when, with anxious eyes, he looks into the
future, and pictures life without this gentle comforter, he almost
wishes that health would turn her back on him forever, so that he might
ever have Perdita; and he worries himself into continual fevers, which
prove a great drawback to his convalescence.
She, also, has her secret load of anxiety. A crisis is approaching which
she may not longer stave off. She must make herself known anon, and
finish her duty with regard to him, and go away; and oh! heaven knows
how she is to turn her back upon this great passion of her life, and
him!
In her perfection of humility, she never hopes for reward for these
great services of hers; she counts them but a feeble recompense for the
evil she--his Marplot and ruin--has wrought him, which no recompense can
atone for. She has not had the vanity to probe into his heart and weigh
his gratitude toward her, or to count upon it for a moment. His daily
evidences of love are to her but the wayward fancy of an invalid, which
time and strength will sweep away, as surely as the ripple would blot
her reflection from yonder smooth lagoon.
And at last the burden grows so heavy on the heart of each, that he, the
least patient, breaks silence, and recklessly put his hand to the wheel
which may revolve and crush him.
"You have always put me off when I was at all inquisitive about you," he
says to her, one day; "but since I am getting well so rapidly, I think
it time that I should assume a little of the responsibility of my own
affairs. I have an appallingly heavy debt of gratitude to pay a kind
lady, whose only name to me is Perdita, and I wish to be more
particularly acquainted with my deliveress."
"If you would only wait until you were strong enough to travel," answers
Margaret, becoming very pale, "it would be for the best."
"Why, where are we to travel, my Perdita?"
"You must prepare your mind for a journey, sir--a journey which will be
for your good and happiness."
"With you?"
"Without me."
The desolate tones come quietly enough, but the invalid gives a great
start, and clutches at his thin hands, and turns away his face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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