Adoptees -- Fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction
"We carefully removed every article from the hut, and put all in the
same state as when we found it. I did not, indeed, fear discovery; who
would imagine that my course would be to the desolate seabeach? and if
they did, and found all, I should be far, I should be dead. But Osborne
was eager to obliterate every mark of the hut having been visited. When
he was satisfied that he had accomplished this, without looking behind,
I got into the carriage, we drove with what speed we could to Lancaster,
and thence to Liverpool. Osborne was in a transport of fear till he got
on board an American vessel: fortunately, the wind having veered towards
the north, there was one about to weigh anchor. I placed a considerable
sum of money in my accomplice's hands, and recommended discretion. He
would have questioned me as to my own designs, but he respected my stern
silence, and we parted never to meet again. A small coasting vessel,
bound for Plymouth, was at that moment making her way out of harbour; I
hailed a man on board, and threw myself on to the deck.
"Elizabeth can tell the rest. She knows how I landed in a secluded
village of Cornwall, with the intent there to make due sacrifice to the
outraged manes of Alithea. Still I grieve for the unaccomplished
purpose; still I repine that I did not there die. She stopped my hand.
An angel, in likeness of a human child, arrested my arm; and winning my
wonder by her extraordinary loveliness, and my interest by her orphan
and desolate position, I seemed called upon to live for her sake. The
struggle was violent, for I longed to make atonement by my death; and I
longed to forget my crimes and their consequences in the oblivious
grave. At first I thought that the respite I granted myself would be
short; but it lasted for years; and I dragged out a living death, having
survived love and hope: remorse my follower; ghastly images of crime and
death my comrades. I travelled from place to place, pursued by Alithea's
upbraiding ghost and my own torturing thoughts. By frequent change of
place, I sought to assuage my pangs; I believe that I increased them.
They might perhaps have been mitigated by the monotony of a stationary
life. But a traveller's existence is all sensation, and every emotion is
rendered active and penetrating by the perpetual variation of the
appearances of natural objects. Thought and feeling awaken with the sun,
and dewy eve and the radiant stars cause the eyes to turn towards the
backward path; while darkness, felt palpably, as one proceeds onward in
an unknown land, awakens the snakes of conscience. The storm and
expected wreck are images of retribution; while yet the destruction I
pined for receded from before my thirsting lips.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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