My dearest Friend,--I have just sent Mr. Thaxter, Johnny, and Stevens, with the things, on board. I shall go with Charles at four o'clock. It is now three. I have seen the captain and the navy board, etc. It is proposed to sail to-morrow; perhaps, however, it may not be till next day.[207] Mr. Dana[208] will come on board at nine to-morrow. Mr. Hancock has sent me a card to invite me to go on board with him in the castle barge. Don't make many words of this. Your aunt has given me a barrel of cranberries. I shall make a good use of them, I hope. Let me entreat you to keep up your spirits and throw off cares as much as possible. Love to Abby and Tommy. We shall yet be happy, I hope, and pray, and I don't doubt it. I shall have vexations enough, as usual. You will have anxiety and tenderness enough, as usual. Pray strive not to have too much. I will write by every opportunity I can get. Yours ever, ever yours, JOHN ADAMS. FOOTNOTES: [Footnote 207: Mr. Adams had reached home on the 2d of August, in the _Sensible_. He was now ordered abroad again under a new commission, in the same vessel, then on her return to France. He took two sons with him.] [Footnote 208: Francis Dana accompanied Mr. Adams as Secretary of Legation.] 254. ABIGAIL ADAMS. 14 November, 1779. Dearest of Friends,--My habitation, how disconsolate it looks! my table, I sit down to it, but cannot swallow my food! Oh, why was I born with so much sensibility, and why, possessing it, have I so often been called to struggle with it? I wish to see you again. Were I sure you would not be gone, I could not withstand the temptation of coming to town, though my heart would suffer over again the cruel torture of separation. What a cordial to my dejected spirits were the few lines last night received! And does your heart forebode that we shall again be happy? My hopes and fears rise alternately. I cannot resign more than I do, unless life itself were called for. My dear sons, I cannot think of them without a tear. Little do they know the feelings of a mother's heart. May they be good and useful as their father! Then will they in some measure reward the anxiety of a mother. My tenderest love to them. Remember me also to Mr. Thaxter, whose civilities and kindness I shall miss. God Almighty bless and protect my dearest friend, and, in his own time, restore him to the affectionate bosom of PORTIA. 255. JOHN ADAMS. At Sea, not far from the Grand Bank of N. F. L., 29 November, 1779.