writing) that he was loved by her; that he raised money for her husband;
and that when she returned to Vienna from Italy, she looked Beethoven
up and wept; but he despised her. The reader who wishes to investigate
the subject and read of her strange adventures with Prince Hermann
Pückler-Muskau, even though illusions be thereby dispelled, is referred to
the chapter "Julia Guicciardi" in "Neue Musikalische Charakterbilder" by
Otto Gumprecht (Leipsic, 1876).
And in this year, 1801, the deafness, which began with violent noise in
his ears, grew on him. In a letter to Wegeler, in which he speaks of a
pension of about $240, from Lichnowsky, he tells of his infirmities. He
connected the deafness with abdominal troubles, with "frightful colic."
He went from doctor to doctor. He tried oil of almonds and cold and warm
baths. Pills and herbs and blisters were of little avail. He inquired into
galvanic remedies. Zmeskall persuaded him to visit Father Weiss, monk and
quack. Discouraged, he still had the bravery to write, "I will as far as
possible defy my fate, though there must be moments when I shall be the
most miserable of God's creatures... I will grapple with fate; it shall
never drag me down." At the same time in telling his sorrow to Carl Amenda
he swore him solemnly to secrecy.
Dr. Schmidt sent him in 1802 to Heiligenstadt, a lonely village, and there
he wrote the famous letter known as "Beethoven's Will," addressed to his
brothers, to be opened after his death (see page 331). It is possible
that this letter full of gloom and distress was only the expression of
momentary depression. The music of this same year is cheerful, if not
absolutely joyous--the Symphony in D, for example--and on his return to
Vienna he wrote letters of mad humor. He changed his lodgings to the
Peters-Platz, in the heart of the city, where he was between the bells
of two churches. He corrected publishers' proofs, and was "hoarse with
stamping and swearing" on account of the errors, "swarming like fish in
the sea." He quarreled with his brother Caspar, who interfered in his
dealings with publishers and brought to light compositions of boyhood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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