An editor in Texas gives the following figures from a statistical memorandum of his life: Been asked to drink 11,362 times Drank 11,362 times Requested to retract 416 times Didn’t retract 416 times Been invited to parties and receptions by parties fishing for puffs 3,333 times Took the hint 33 times Didn’t take the hint 3,300 times Threatened to be whipped 170 times Been whipped 0 times Whipped the other fellow 4 times Didn’t come to time 166 times Been promised whiskey, gin etc., if we would go after them 5,610 times Been after them 5,610 times Been asked what’s the news 300,000 times Told 23 times Didn’t know 200,000 times Lied about it 99,977 times Been to church 2 times Changed politics 32 times Expect to change still 50 times Gave to charity $5.00 Gave for terrier dog $25.00 Cash on hand $1.00 The following cheerful valedictory of an editor was printed in the Asheville, North Carolina, Journal: “In this issue of the paper I offer my house and lot for sale. My object is to quit the country--possibly for the country’s good. For the past nine years I have endeavored to make a livelihood here at the newspaper business, and at this writing I am a good breathing representation of the Genius of Famine, or an allegory of Ireland during the potato rot. The day star of my prosperity has gone down behind a dark cloud of unpaid and uncancelled obligations. As a dernier resort, I propose to cast my lot among the Mongolians of the Pacific coast, and with this view my leisure moments are devoted to deciphering the hieroglyphics on a Chinese tea-chest, while I patiently await the advent of a purchaser.”