The above ingenious device recalls another occasion when some gentlemen
who made burglary their profession, and who had been paying a midnight
visit to the house of a Hull tradesman were sadly “sold.” They found
the cash-box lying handy, and, to their delight, weighty; so heavy
indeed that they did not stay to help themselves to anything further.
Next morning the cash-box was found not far from the shop and its
contents in an ash-pit close by. After all the trouble they had taken,
to say nothing of the risks they had run, the burglars found their
prize consisted only of a lump of lead, and that their intended victim
had been too artful for them.
I. BOGUS SAUSAGES
As an example of how a dishonest penny may be turned the following
incident would be hard to beat.
Two weary porters at the King’s Cross terminus of the Great Northern
Railway were thinking about going home, when a breathless,
simple-looking countryman rushed up to them with anxious enquiries for
a certain train. It had gone. He was crushed. “Whatever was he to do?
He had been sent up from Cambridge with a big hamper of those sausages
for which the University town is celebrated--a very special order. Was
there no other train?” “No.” The poor fellow seemed overwhelmed. “As
it is too late to find another market,” he complained, “the whole lot
will be lost.” Then a happy thought seemed to strike him as more of
the railway men gathered round, and he inquired ingratiatingly, “Would
you care to buy the sausages; if you would, you could have them for
fourpence a pound? If I keep them, they will probably go bad before
I can dispose of them.” The idea took--“Real Cambridge Sausages” at
fourpence a pound was not to be sneezed at. The dainties, neatly packed
in pounds, went like the proverbial hot cakes. Shouldering the empty
basket, and bidding his customers a kindly goodnight, the yokel set
off to find a humble lodging for the night. Grateful smiles greeted
the purchasers when they got home. Frying pans were got out and the
sausages were popped in, and never was such a sizzling heard in the
railway houses--or rather never should such a sizzling have been heard.
But somehow they didn’t sizzle. “They are uncommon dry; seem to have
no fat in ’em,” said the puzzled cook. They were dry, very dry, for
closer investigation showed that the “prime Cambridge” were nothing
but skins stuffed with dry bread! The railway staff of King’s Cross
were long anxious to meet that simple countryman from Cambridge.
J. THE MOON HOAX
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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