But some daring people there were, who wanted to test their strength,
and Lazarus obeyed their imprudent summons. Kept busy by state affairs,
the emperor constantly delayed the reception, and seven days did he who
had risen from the dead go about visiting others.
And Lazarus came to a cheerful Epicurean, and the host met him with
laughter on his lips:
"Drink, Lazarus, drink!"--shouted he. "Would not Augustus laugh to see
thee drunk!"
And half-naked drunken women laughed, and rose petals fell on Lazarus'
blue hands. But then the Epicurean looked into Lazarus' eyes, and his
gaiety ended forever. Drunkard remained he for the rest of his life;
never did he drink, yet forever was he drunk. But instead of the gay
reverie which wine brings with it, frightful dreams began to haunt him,
the sole food of his stricken spirit. Day and night he lived in the
poisonous vapors of his nightmares, and death itself was not more
frightful than her raving, monstrous forerunners.
And Lazarus came to a youth and his beloved, who loved each other and
were most beautiful in their passions. Proudly and strongly embracing
his love, the youth said with serene regret:
"Look at us, Lazarus, and share our joy. Is there anything stronger
than love?"
And Lazarus looked. And for the rest of their life they kept on loving
each other, but their passion grew gloomy and joyless, like those
funeral cypresses whose roots feed on the decay of the graves and whose
black summits in a still evening hour seek in vain to reach the sky.
Thrown by the unknown forces of life into each other's embraces, they
mingled tears with kisses, voluptuous pleasures with pain, and they felt
themselves doubly slaves, obedient slaves to life, and patient servants
of the silent Nothingness. Ever united, ever severed, they blazed like
sparks and like sparks lost themselves in the boundless Dark.
And Lazarus came to a haughty sage, and the sage said to him:
"I know all the horrors thou canst reveal to me. Is there anything thou
canst frighten me with?"
But before long the sage felt that the knowledge of horror was far from
being the horror itself, and that the vision of Death, was not Death.
And he felt that wisdom and folly are equal before the face of Infinity,
for Infinity knows them not. And it vanished, the dividing-line between
knowledge and ignorance, truth and falsehood, top and bottom, and the
shapeless thought hung suspended in the void. Then the sage clutched his
gray head and cried out frantically:
"I cannot think! I cannot think!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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