Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's LifeHudson, W. H. (William Henry)
General
Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's Life
Hudson, W. H. (William Henry)
Fiction
On the other side it seemed to Fan, as she looked up to meet the grave
tender countenance bent towards her, that it grew every moment dearer
to her sight, It was a comely face still: Miss Churton's beauty was
inherited from her mother--certainly not from her father. The features
were regular, and perhaps that grey hair had once been golden, thought
Fan--and the face now pallid and lined with care full of rich colour.
Imagination lends a powerful aid to affection. She had found someone
to love and was happy once more. For to her love was everything; “all
thoughts, all feelings, all delights” were its ministers and “fed its
sacred flame”; this was the secret motive ever inspiring her, and it was
impossible for her to put any other, higher or lower, in its place. Not
that sweet sickness and rage of the heart which is also called love, and
which so enriches life that we look with a kind of contemptuous pity on
those who have never experienced it, thinking that they have only a dim
incomplete existence, and move through life ghost-like and sorrowful
among their joyous brothers and sisters. Such a feeling had never yet
touched or come near to her young heart; and her ignorance was so great,
and the transition to her present life so recent, that she did not yet
distinguish between the different kinds of that feeling--that which was
wholly gross and animal, seen in foul faces and whispered in her ears by
polluted lips, from which she had fled, trembling and terrified, through
the dark lanes and streets of the City of Dreadful Night; and the same
feeling as it appears, sublimed and beautified, in the refined and the
virtuous. As yet she knew nothing about a beautiful love of that kind;
but she had in the highest degree that purer, better affection which
we prize as our most sacred possession, and even attribute to the
immortals, since our earthly finite minds cannot conceive any more
beautiful bond uniting them. It was this flame in her heart which had
kept her like one alone, apart and unsoiled in the midst of squalor
and vice, which had made her girlhood so unspeakably sad. Her soul had
existed in a semi-starved condition on such affection as her miserable
intemperate mother had bestowed on her, and, for the rest, the sight of
love in which she had no part in some measure ministered to her wants
and helped to sustain her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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