Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's LifeHudson, W. H. (William Henry)
General
Fan : The Story of a Young Girl's Life
Hudson, W. H. (William Henry)
Fiction
The smile faded from his lips, he forgot the things he had come to
say, and sitting down by her side he took her hand in his, but without
speaking. He knew why she had been crying. He loved his wife as much as
it was in his power to love anyone after himself, and to some extent he
appreciated her. He recognised in her a very pure and beautiful spirit,
a great depth of affection, and a clear, cultivated intellect, yet
without any of that offensive pride and insolent scorn which so often
accompanies freedom of thought in a woman and makes her contrast so
badly with her old-fashioned Christian sister. He did not rate her
powers very highly, not high enough in fact, so as to compensate for the
excessive esteem in which he held his own; nevertheless she was to him a
lovely, even a gifted woman, and, what was more, she loved him and took
him at his own valuation, and had linked her life with his when his
fortunes were at their lowest. He was always very tender with her,
and had never yet, even in his occasional moments of irritation and
despondence, spoken an unkind word to her. During the evening he had not
failed to notice that she was ill at ease, and he rightly divined that
something in himself had been the cause; nor was he at a loss to guess
what that something was. Yet he had not allowed the thought to trouble
him overmuch; at all events it had made no perceptible difference in his
manner, his elation at the thought of the fifty pounds he was going to
receive causing this little shadow to seem a very small matter. Now he
was troubled by a feeling of compunction, and when he spoke at length it
was in a gentle, pleading tone.
“Connie,” he said, “I needn't ask you why you have been crying. I have
offended you so many times that I know the signs only too well.”
“That is a reproach I do not deserve, Merton,” she returned.
“I am not reproaching you, dear, but myself for giving you pain.”
“Have I shown myself so hard to please, so ready to take offence, that
you know the signs of disapproval so well?”
“No, Connie; on the contrary. But my eyes are quick to see disapproval,
as yours are quick to see anything wrong in me. And I would not have
it different.” After a while he continued, a little anxiously, “Do you
think our visitor--I mean Eden, for I care nothing about Fan--noticed
any signs of--noticed what you did?”
“How can I tell, Merton? He looked a little tired, I thought.”
“Did he look tired? And yet I think I talked well.” She made no
reply, and he continued, “Of course, Connie, you thought I seemed too
excited--that I had been taking stimulants. Is it not so?”
“Yes, I thought that,” she replied, averting her eyes, and in a tone of
deep pain. “Oh, Merton, is this going to continue until it grows into a
habit? It will break my heart!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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