"You know well that it has, Ellen,--one that has swallowed up all its
strength," said Fanshawe. "Was it wise, then, to tempt it thus, when, if
it yield, the result must be your own misery?"
Ellen did not affect to misunderstand his meaning. On the contrary, with a
noble frankness, she answered to what was implied rather than expressed.
"Do me not this wrong," she said, blushing, yet earnestly. "Can it be
misery? Will it not be happiness to form the tie that shall connect you to
the world? to be your guide--a humble one, it is true, but the one of your
choice--to the quiet paths from which your proud and lonely thoughts have
estranged you? Oh, I know that there will be happiness in such a lot, from
these and a thousand other sources!"
The animation with which Ellen spoke, and, at the same time, a sense of
the singular course to which her gratitude had impelled her, caused her
beauty to grow brighter and more enchanting with every word. And when, as
she concluded, she extended her hand to Fanshawe, to refuse it was like
turning from an angel, who would have guided him to heaven. But, had he
been capable of making the woman he loved a sacrifice to her own
generosity, that act would have rendered him unworthy of her. Yet the
struggle was a severe one ere he could reply.
"Yon have spoken generously and nobly, Ellen," he said. "I have no way to
prove that I deserve your generosity, but by refusing to take advantage of
it. Even if your heart were yet untouched, if no being more happily
constituted than myself had made an impression there, even then, I trust,
a selfish passion would not be stronger than my integrity. But now"--He
would have proceeded; but the firmness which had hitherto sustained him
gave way. He turned aside to hide the tears which all the pride of his
nature could not restrain, and which, instead of relieving, added to his
anguish. At length he resumed, "No, Ellen, we must part now and forever.
Your life will be long and happy. Mine will be short, but not altogether
wretched, nor shorter than if we had never met. When you hear that I am in
my grave, do not imagine that you have hastened me thither. Think that you
scattered bright dreams around my pathway,--an ideal happiness, that you
would have sacrificed your own to realize."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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