_Mrs Plumper_. Why, Adolphus, where have you been? Excuse me, madam; I did not see that you were upon my husband's arm. Perhaps he'll have the goodness to present his wife to you. _El_. His wife! her husband! [_Screams--faints_.] _Mrs P_. Yes, madam. You may well scream, "His wife! her husband!" and then pretend to faint. Who else's wife do you suppose I am? _Ad_. I am sorry I have no time for explanation now, as I must attend to this young lady; but if you will have the kindness to hold my hat, Mr Flamm. [_Hands his hat to_ Flamm.] And you, madam, to take care of these. [_Takes off his wig and spectacles and hands them to_ Mrs Plumper.] Your own senses will explain a good deal. As you may have already discovered, I am not Mr Plumper at all; in fact, I perceive him approaching. Help me to hold her head a little higher, please Mr Flamm; and Mrs Plumper, kindly undo the back of her dress, or her stays, or her _chiton_, or whatever is underneath, and let go everything generally, so as to give her a chance of breathing. _Enter_ Plumper. _Fl_. Here, Plumper, you're a medical man, just come in the nick of time. This gentleman here has been personating you for some reason or other, and the discovery caused the young lady to faint. Mysterious, isn't it? _Ad_. Not at all, when you come to know the circumstances. Here is my card; and you will find me ready to make any apology or offer you any satisfaction you may require. Meantime, Dr Plumper, let me implore you to assist me in bringing her to. _Pl_. There now, my gug-gug-good lady, take a smell of this. There now, we are beginning to feel beb-beb-better already. [_Aside_.] Most extraordinary coincidence, Flamm: this is the same lady and gentleman we travelled up to town with a kuk-kuk-couple of months ago; and you remarked upon our wonderful resemblance to each other. Horrid bob-bob- bore, a fellow's being so like you; he can pip-pip-play all sorts of tricks upon you. Just a chance he did not get me into a did-did-devil of a scrape with Jemima. _Fl_. [_aside_]. Well, you can always pay him off in his own coin--that is, if you shave your head, and throw away your spectacles, and give up stammering. _Pl_. [_aside_]. But I can't--that's where he has the pup-pup-pull over me. [_Aloud_.] There now, one or two bib-bib-breaths, and we are all right. Now, dud-dud-don't go off again; it can be all satisfactorily explained. [_Aside_.] Hang me if I know how! _El_. [_opens her eyes while_ Plumper _is bending over her--screams_]. Oh, Adolphus!--[_shuts them again_] _Pl_. There, there, my gug-gug-good lady, I'm not Adolphus; at least I am Adolphus, bub-bub-but not your Adolphus. Here, Mr Gresham, if you're her Ad-dod-dod-dod-ol-phus, you'd better take her. _El_. [_opens her eyes, sees_ Adolphus _bending over her--screams_]. Oh, where am I?--[_shuts them again_.]