Clergy -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
her power having overcome him did him evil service in her thoughts. The
secret of his charm for her lay exactly in the attitude of renunciation
that he was now abandoning. She had been half inclined to fall in love
with him just because there was no question of his falling in love with
her. Her feelings toward Eugene, which lay deeper than she confessed,
had prevented her actually losing her heart, or doing more than
contemplate the picture of her romantic passion, banned by all manner of
awful sanctions, as a not uninteresting possibility. By abandoning his
position Stafford abandoned one great source of strength. On the other
hand, he no doubt gained something. Claudia was not insensible to that
aspect of the case which Ayre had apprehended would influence her so
powerfully. She did perceive the halo of romance; and the idea of an
Ajax defying heavenly lightning for her sake had its attractiveness. But
Ayre reasoning, as a man is prone and perhaps obliged to do, from
himself to another, had omitted to take account of a factor in Claudia's
mind about the existence of which, even if it had been suggested to him,
he would have been profoundly skeptical. Ayre had never been able, or at
least never given himself the trouble, to understand how real a thing
Stafford's vow had been to him, and what a struggle was necessary before
he could disregard it. He would have been still more at a loss to
appreciate the force which the same vow exercised over Claudia. Stafford
himself had strengthened this feeling in her. Although the subject of
celibacy, and celibacy by oath, had not been discussed openly between
them, yet in their numerous conversations Stafford had not failed to
respond to her sympathetic invitations so far as to give himself full
liberty in descanting on the excellences of the life he had chosen for
himself. Every word he had spoken in its praise now rose to condemn its
betrayal. And Claudia, who had been brought up in entire removal from
the spirit which made Ayre and Eugene treat Stafford's vow as one of the
picturesque indiscretions of devotion, was unable to look upon the
breaking of it in any other light than that of a falsehood and an act of
treachery. Religion was to her a series of definite commands, and
although her temperament was not such as enabled or led her to penetrate
beneath the commands to the reason of them, or emboldened her to rely on
the latter rather than the former, she had never wavered in the view
that at least these commands may and should be observed, and that, above
all, by a man whose profession it was to inculcate them. This much of
genuine disapproval of Stafford's conduct she undoubtedly felt; and
there it would be pleasant to leave the matter. But in the commanding
interest of truth it must be added that this genuine disapproval was,
unconsciously perhaps to herself, strengthened by more mundane feelings,
which would, if analyzed, have been resolved into a sense of resentment
against Stafford.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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