Clergy -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
Claudia still stood fixed on the spot where he had left her. Then she
sat down on the seat, and gave herself up to memories of their walks and
talks at Millstead.
"Why need he spoil it all?" she cried. "Why need he give me a sad
memory, when I had such a pleasant one? Oh, how foolish they are! What a
pity it's Eugene, and not him! Eugene would never have looked like that.
He'd have made a bitter little speech, and then a pretty little speech,
and smoothed his feathers and flown away. But still it is Eugene! Oh,
dear, I shall never be quite happy again!"
We may reasonably, nay confidently, hope that this was looking at the
black side of things. It is pleasant to act a little to ourselves now
and then. The little pieces are thrilling, and they don't last much
longer than their counterparts upon the stage. With most of us the
curtain falls very punctually, leaving time for a merry supper, where we
forget the headache and the thousand natural and unnatural ills that
passed in our sight before the green baize let fall its merciful veil.
Stafford pursued his way through the woods. Arriving at the lodge gates,
he stopped abruptly, remembering his promise to Eugene. He saw a little
fellow playing about, and called to him.
"Do you know Mr. Lane, my boy?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," said the child.
"Then I'll give you something to take to him."
He took a card out of his pocket and wrote on it: "You were right. I am
going to London"; and giving it, with a sixpence, to his messenger,
resumed his journey to the station.
He was stunned. It cannot be denied that he had been blindly hopeful,
blindly confident. He had persuaded himself that his love for Claudia
could be nothing but the outcome of a natural bond between them that
must produce a like feeling in her. He had attributed to her the depth
and intensity of emotion that he found in himself. He had seen in her
not merely a girl of more than common quickness, and perhaps more than
common capacity, but a great nature ready to respond to a great passion
in another. She had much to give to the man she loved; but Stafford
asked even more than was hers to bestow. He had deceived himself, and
the delusion was still upon him. He was conscious only of an utter,
hopeless void. He had removed all to make room for Claudia, and Claudia
refused to fill the vacant place. With all the will in the world she
could not have filled it; but no such thought as this came to console
Stafford. He saw his joy, but was forbidden to reach out his hand and
pluck it. His life lay in the hollow of her hand, to grant or withhold,
and she had closed her grasp upon it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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