Fern Leaves from Fanny's Port-folio. Second SeriesFern, Fanny
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Fern Leaves from Fanny's Port-folio. Second Series
Fern, Fanny
American essays -- 19th century; Short stories, American
--Here is a group of Suliote chiefs, and in their midst Lord Byron,
with his shirt upside down; and here is the veritable carriage that
little Victoria used to ride in, before the crown of royalty fretted
her fair, girlish temples. Poor little embryo queen! How many times
since, do you suppose, she has longed to step out of those bejeweled
robes, drop the burdens state imposes, and throw her weary limbs, with
a child’s careless _abandon_, on those silken cushions, free to laugh
or cry, to sing or sigh.
--Then, here’s a collection of stuffed birds, whose rainbow plumage
has darted through clustering foliage, fostered in other latitudes
than ours. Nearly every species of beings that crawl, or fly, or walk,
or swim, is here represented. And what hideous monsters some of them
are! A “pretty kettle of fish,” some of the representatives of the
finny tribe would make! I once thought I would like to be buried in the
ocean, but I discarded that idea before I had been in the museum an
hour. I shouldn’t want such a “scaly set” of creatures swimming in the
same pond with me.
--I had nearly forgotten to mention the “Happy Family.” Here are
animals and birds which are the natural prey of each other, living
together in such pleasant harmony as would make a quarrelsome person
blush to look upon. A sleek rat, probably overcome by the oppressive
weather, was gently dozing--a cat’s neck supporting his sleepy head in
a most pillow-ly manner. Mutual vows of friendship had evidently been
exchanged and rat-ified by these natural enemies. I have not time to
mention in detail the many striking instances of fraternization among
creatures which have been considered each other’s irreconcilable foes.
Suffice it to say that Barnum and Noah are the only men on record who
have brought about such a state of harmonic antagonisms, and that
Barnum is the only man who has ever made money by the operation.
--Heigho! time fails us to explore all the natural wonders gathered
here, from all climes, and lands, and seas, by the enterprise of
perhaps the only man who could have compassed it. We turn away, leaving
the greater portion unexamined, with an indistinct remembrance of what
we have seen, but with a most distinct impression that the “getting up”
of Creation was no ordinary affair, and wondering how it could ever
have been done in six days.
A FERN REVERIE.
Dear me, I must go shopping. Shopping is a nuisance: clerks are
impertinent: feminity is victimized. Miserable day, too: mud plastered
an inch thick on the side walk. Well, if we drop our skirts, gentlemen
cry “Ugh!” and if we lift them from the mud, they level their
eye-glasses at our ankles. The true definition of a gentleman (not
found in incomplete Webster) is--a biped, who, of a muddy day, is
perfectly oblivious of anything but the shop signs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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