Fern Leaves from Fanny's Port-folio. Second SeriesFern, Fanny
General
Fern Leaves from Fanny's Port-folio. Second Series
Fern, Fanny
American essays -- 19th century; Short stories, American
We halt suddenly. “Back! back!” says the conductor. The sleepers
start to their feet; the old maid in the corner gives a little
hysterical shriek; brakemen, conductor, and engineer jump off, push
back their hats, and gaze nervously down the road. “What’s the matter?”
echo scores of anxious voices. “What’s the matter?” Oh, nothing; only
a mother made childless: only a little form--five minutes ago bounding
with happy life--lying a mangled corpse upon the track. The engineer
says, with an oath, that “the child was a fool not to get out of the
way,” and sends one of the hands back to pick up the dismembered limbs
and carry them to its mother, who forbade even the winds of heaven to
blow too roughly on her boy; then he gives the “iron horse” a fresh
impetus, and we dash on; imagination paints a scene in yonder house
which many a frantic parent will recognize; and from which (even in
thought) we turn shuddering away--while the weary mother in the corner
covers her fretful babe with kisses, and thanks God, through her tears,
that her loving arms are still its sheltering fold.
NEWSPAPER-DOM.
It is beyond my comprehension how Methusaleh lived nine hundred
and sixty-nine years without a newspaper; or, what the mischief Noah
did, during that “forty days” shower, when he had exhausted the
study of Natural History. It makes me yawn to think of it. Or what
later generations did, the famished half-hour before meals; or, when
traveling, when the old stage-coach crept up a steep hill, some dusty
hot summer noon. Shade of Franklin! how they must have been _ennuyéd_!
How did they ever know when flour had “riz”--or what was the market
price of pork, small tooth combs, cotton, wool, and molasses? How did
they know whether Queen Victoria had “made her brother an uncle or
an aunt?” What christianized gouty old men and snappish old ladies?
What kept the old maids from making mince-meat of pretty young girls?
What did love-sick damsels do for “sweet bits of poetry” and “touching
continued stories?” Where did their papas find a solace when the
coffee was muddy, the toast smoked, and the beef-steak raw, or done to
leather? What did cab-drivers do, while waiting for a tardy patron?
What did draymen do, when there was “a great calm” at the dry-goods
store of Go Ahead & Co.? What screen did husbands dodge behind, when
their wives asked them for money?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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