‘Oh, no,’ pleaded Rosalie, in tones as passionate as his, but infinitely
piteous. ‘Do not say it, Richard—do not—do not put it into words!’
Her hand flew out involuntarily as though to stop his mouth: he caught it
and kissed it though it fluttered in his grasp.
‘Why should I not say it—why should I not be brave enough to put into
words the thought which has been in both our minds so often? When I saw
your picture I fancied myself standing beside you, bending over you—’
‘Oh, hush, hush!’
She had withdrawn her hand, and was covering her face.
‘I said to myself,’ he persevered, his words coming brokenly because of
his quick breathing. ‘I said to myself, “If that woman lives she shall
be my wife—I will search for her until I find her!” And then when I
found you—I thought you were free.’
‘But I was not free,’ she interrupted, dropping her hands and looking up
with eyes fierce and wild like those of a hunted animal. ‘I am not free
now, neither are you free. You are bound to him as much as I am—your
duty stares you in the face—’
‘It is too late to talk of duty! I ought never to have seen you. Do you
suppose there is anything which you can tell me that I have not told
myself a hundred times? He is my uncle—yes! He has been my benefactor
always—more than a father to me—yes, yes! He is the kindest, the most
warm-hearted, the most guileless of men. It would never enter his
honest, innocent mind to suspect me of trying to supplant him; in acting
as I do I am a traitor, a liar—vile, ungrateful, dishonourable,
dishonest—Oh, there are no words strong enough, or black enough to paint
me as I am! I know it and I agree to it; but I love you, Rosalie, and I
will not give you up!’
Some of his words were scarcely audible as they came in gusts from his
quivering lips; the veins on his forehead stood out; there was no
mistaking the bitter contempt with which he stigmatised his own conduct,
but there was even less possibility of misapprehending his deadly
earnestness of purpose.
‘I mean to have you,’ he went on; ‘I mean to let everything go—except
you.’
She was so much taken aback at the suddenness of the onslaught, so
confounded at the quickness with which he had forestalled all she had
intended to urge, that she stood before him for a moment absolutely mute;
trembling, moreover, with the growing consciousness of her own weakness,
and at his confident assumption of mastery over her.
Meanwhile he, with his eyes fixed upon her face, read it like a book.
His own suddenly changed.
‘It is useless to struggle, love,’ he said, speaking very gently and
tenderly. ‘We have both done our best—we have tried to do right, but
Fate has been too strong for us. We must just make up our minds to let
ourselves go with the tide—and be happy.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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