Adultery -- Fiction; Family -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Most of the time she sat by her father's bed; though she was watching
him dying, to sit there by him was the closest to comfort she could
come. And as she watched the face which already had the look of death
there would come pictures of her father at various times through the
years. There was that day when she was a tiny girl and he came home
bringing her a puppy; she could see his laughing face as he held the
soft, wriggling, fuzzy little ball of life up to her, see him standing
there enjoying her delight. She saw him as he was one day when she said
she was not going to Sunday-school, that she was tired of Sunday-school
and was not going any more. She could hear him saying, "Ruth, go
upstairs and put on your clothes for Sunday-school!"--see him as plainly
as though it had just happened standing there pointing a stern finger
toward the stairs, not moving until she had started to obey him. And
once when she and Edith and some other girls were making a great noise
on the porch he had stepped out from the living-room, where he and some
men were sitting about the table, looking over something, and said,
mildly, affectionately, "My dears, what would you think of making a
little less noise?" Queer things to be remembering, but she saw just how
he looked, holding the screen door open as he said it.
And as she sat there thinking of how she would never hear his voice
again, he reached out his hand as if groping for something he wanted;
and when with a little sob she quickly took it he clasped her hand,
putting into it a strength that astonished her. He turned toward her
after that and the nature of his sleep changed a little; it seemed more
natural, as if there were something of peace in it. It was as if he had
turned to her, reached out his hand for her, knowing she was there and
wanting her. He was too far from life for more, but he had done what he
could. Her longing gave the little movement big meaning. Sitting there
holding the hand of her father who would never talk to her nor listen to
her again, she wanted as she had never wanted before to tell her story.
She had been a long time away; she had had a hard time. She wanted to
tell him about it, wanted to try and make him understand how it had all
happened. She wanted to tell him how homesick she had been and how she
had always loved them all. It seemed if she could just make him know
what it was she had felt, and what she had gone through, he would be
sorry for her and love her as he used to.
Someone had come into the room; she did not turn at once, trying to make
her blurred eyes clear. When she looked around she saw her sister
Harriett. Her father had relaxed his hold on her hand and so she rose
and turned to her sister.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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