Adultery -- Fiction; Family -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
After a block of perplexed thinking she knew who that woman was; it
flashed from her memory where she had known that intent look, that
wistful intentness lighting a thin little face. It was Annie Morris, a
girl in her class at the high-school, a plain, quiet girl--poor she
believed she was, not in Ruth's crowd. Now that she searched back for
what she remembered about it she believed that this Annie Morris had
always liked her; and perhaps she had taken more notice of her than
Edith and the other girls had. She could see her now getting out of the
shabby buggy in which she drove in to school--she lived somewhere out in
the country. She remembered talking to her sometimes at recess--partly
because she seemed a good deal alone and partly because she liked to
talk to her. She remembered that she was what they called awfully bright
in her classes.
That this girl, whom she had forgotten, should welcome her so warmly
stirred an old wondering: a wondering if somewhere in the world there
were not people who would be her friends. That wondering, longing, had
run through many lonely days. The people she had known would no longer
be her friends. But were there not other people? She knew so little
about the world outside her own life; her own life had seemed to shut
down around her. But she had a feeling that surely somewhere--somewhere
outside the things she had known--were people among whom she could find
friends. So far she had not found them. At the first, seeing how hard it
would be, how bad for them both, to have only each other, she had tried
to go out to people just as if there were nothing in her life to keep
her back from them. And then they would "hear"; that hearing would come
in the most unforeseen little ways, at the most unexpected times;
usually through those coincidences of somebody's knowing somebody else,
perhaps meeting someone from a former place where they had already
"heard"; it was as if the haphazardness of life, those little accidents
of meetings that were without design, equipped the world with a powerful
service for "hearing," which after a time made it impossible for people
to feel that what was known in one place would not come to be known in
another. After she had several times been hurt by the drawing away of
people whom she had grown to like, she herself drew back where she could
not be so easily hurt. And so it came about that her personality changed
in that; from an outgoing nature she came to be one who held back, shut
herself in. Even people who had never "heard" had the feeling she did
not care to know them, that she wanted to be let alone. It crippled her
power for friendship; it hurt her spirit. And it left her very much
alone. In that loneliness she wondered if there were not those other
people--people who could "hear" and not draw away. She had not found
them; perhaps she had at times been near them and in her holding
back--not knowing, afraid--had let them go by. Of that, too, she had
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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