Fifteen Days: An Extract from Edward Colvil's JournalPutnam, Mary Lowell
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Fifteen Days: An Extract from Edward Colvil's Journal
Putnam, Mary Lowell
Diary fiction; Slavery -- United States -- Fiction
"You will never see me again, if you wait to see me there."
"What now? You used to like it."
"I am not so sure that I used to like it, when I think back upon it.
At any rate, if you want to see _me_, you must see me in my own place.
I am not myself anywhere else. Equality, Borrow, equality is a very
good thing for people who have never known anything better: may be a
very good thing for people who can work themselves up out of it. But
for a man who has grown up in the enjoyment of those privileges
inappreciable by the vulgar, but which by the noble of every age have
been regarded as the most real and the most valuable,--for such a man
to sit, one at a long table, feeling himself nobody, and knowing all
the time he has a right to be somebody! You can talk very easily about
equality. You have never suffered from it. You have your learning
and---- Well, you know how to talk. I have no learning, and I can't
talk, except to particular friends. A man cannot ticket himself with
his claims to estimation. Even Paris has too much equality for me.
Flora liked it; she had her beauty and her toilet. But I! how I longed
to be back here among my own simple, humble people! As soon as she was
married, I made off home. In my own place, among my own people, I am,
I might almost say, like a god, if I were not afraid of shocking you.
And is not their fate in my hands? My frown is their night, my smile
is their sunshine. The very ratification of their prayers to a Higher
Power is intrusted to my discretion. Homage, Borrow, homage is the
sweetest draught ever brought to mortal lips!"
"The homage of equals I suppose may be," said Dr. Borrow, modestly.
"You do not understand. How should you? Our modes of thinking and
feeling are not to be comprehended by one brought up in a society so
differently constituted. We avow ourselves an aristocracy."
"You do well: something of the inherent meaning of a word will always
make itself felt. _Aristocracy!_ It is vain to try to dispossess it of
its own. The world will not be disenchanted of the beautiful word.
Cover yourselves with its prestige. It will stand you in good stead
with outsiders. But, between ourselves, Westlake, how is it behind the
scenes? Can you look each other in the face and pronounce it? Or have
you really persuaded yourselves down here that you are governed by
your best men?"
"We do not use the word so pedantically down here. By an aristocracy
we mean a community of gentlemen."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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