JOE. Well, I never! It was just the same thing in a way with me. I soaked the crusties in my tea this mornin' and threw 'em to the cat under the table, and I suppose I must 'ave put my foot in 'em, for Kezia went off like a thing gone mazy. She stormed and said--[_he sits down and wipes his forehead again with his handkerchief as he pauses_]--as she were a fool to take me, and all sorts, and then she cried fit to kill herself, and when I spoke she told me to hold my noise, and when I didn't speak she said I'd no feelin's, and was worse nor a stone. We scarcely spoke at dinner-time. She said she wished she was dead, and wanted her mother, and that, bein' a man, I was worse nor a devil; and when I kept on eatin' she said she wondered the food didn't choke me, and when I stopped eatin' she said I was never pleased wi' nothin' she'd got ready for me. My head is sore with the clang of the teasy things she drove into me, and I'm not good at replies, as you do know. [_Joe ends in a weary voice and pokes the fire listlessly. Matthew smokes hard and his eyes are on the ground._] MATTHEW. Women be mysteries, and without little uns they'm worse nor monsters. A child do often alter and soften 'em, but a childless woman is as near a wolf as anything I do know. [_Joe's elbows sink on his knees and his hands support his woebegone face. When he next speaks he has a catch in his voice, and he speaks quickly._] JOE. That's it, is it? MATTHEW. Iss, mate! That's the mischief. Unless--[_he looks up suddenly at Joe_]--perhaps she be goin' to surprise 'e by telling 'e she be going to have a little one. That would account for her bein' teasy and moody. [_Joe laughs sorrowfully._] JOE. Lor', I should be the first to know that, surely! MATTHEW. Not a bit of it. Women loves secrets of that sort. JOE. No; 'tain't that at all. I only wish it was, if what you say be true of women. MATTHEW. True enough, my son. I did the cutest day's work in my life when I persuaded Jane Ann to take little Joe to help we. I watched the two of 'em together and found he caught his tongueing, too, from she, but it had a sort of nestle sound in it as if she were a-cuddlin' of him. She've been gentler wi' me ever since Joe come back again after his long bout at home. [_Joe scratches his head very thoughtfully; a pause, in which he seems to be thinking before speaking again._] JOE. I don't know of no sister's child to take on for Kezia at all. What's the next remedy, think you? MATTHEW. A thrashin'. [_Joe jumps up and stares at Matthew._] JOE. A what? MATTHEW. Wallop her just once. [_Matthew looks on the ground and taps it with his foot, and he does not see that Joe is standing over him with his hands clenched._] JOE. Shame on thee, mate! I feel more like strikin' thee nor a female. I'm sorry I told thee, if thee can offer no more help than that. I'm not much of a chap, but I've never struck a woman yet.