MILITARY WOMAN. When you keep looking up a long time you are bound to get sick. Sure thing. Have you spirits of ammonia? No? Good gracious, how thoughtless! How will they bring you back to consciousness when he falls? You haven't any smelling salts either, I dare say. Of course not. Have you anybody to take care of you, seeing that you are so helpless yourself? LADY [_frightened_]. I will tell my husband. He is in the café. MILITARY WOMAN. Your husband is a brute. POLICEMAN. Whose coat is this? Who threw this rag here? BOY. It's mine. I spread my coat there so that he doesn't hurt himself so badly when he falls. POLICEMAN. Take it away. [_Two tourists armed with cameras contending for the same position._] FIRST TOURIST. I wanted this place. SECOND TOURIST. You wanted it, but I got it. FIRST TOURIST. You just came here. I have had this place for two days. SECOND TOURIST. Then why did you go without even leaving your shadow? FIRST TOURIST. I wasn't going to starve myself to death. COMB-VENDER [_mysteriously_]. Tortoise-shell. TOURIST [_savagely_]. Well? VENDOR. Genuine tortoise-shell. TOURIST. Go to the devil. THIRD TOURIST, PHOTOGRAPHER. For heaven's sake, lady, you're sitting on my camera! LITTLE LADY. Oh! Where is it? TOURIST. Under you, under you, lady. LITTLE LADY. I am so tired. What a wretched camera you have. I thought it felt uncomfortable and I was wondering why. Now I know; I am sitting on your camera. TOURIST [_agonized_]. Lady! LITTLE LADY. I thought it was a stone. I saw something lying there and I thought: A queer-looking stone; I wonder why it's so black. So that's what it was; it was your camera. I see. TOURIST [_agonized_]. Lady, for heaven's sake! LITTLE LADY. Why is it so large, tell me. Cameras are small, but this one is so large. I swear I never had the faintest suspicion it was a camera. Can you take my picture? I would so much like to have my picture taken with the mountains here for a background, in this wonderful setting. TOURIST. How can I take your picture if you are sitting on my camera? LITTLE LADY [_jumping up, frightened_]. Is it possible? You don't say so. Why didn't you tell me so? Does it take pictures? VOICES. Waiter, one beer!--What did you bring wine for?--I gave you my order long ago.--What will you have, sir?--One minute.--In a second. Waiter!--Waiter--Toothpicks!-- [_A fat tourist enters in haste, panting, surrounded by a numerous family._] TOURIST [_crying_]. Mary! Aleck! Jimmie!--Where is Mary? For God's sake! Where is Mary? STUDENT [_dismally_]. Here she is, papa. TOURIST. Where is she? Mary! GIRL. Here I am, papa. TOURIST. Where in the world are you? [_He turns around._] Ah, there! What are you standing back of me for? Look, look! For goodness' sake, where are you looking? GIRL [_dismally_]. I don't know, papa.