LUKA [_puts his hand to his heart_]. Good Lord! [_He drops into a chair._] Oh, I'm ill, I can't breathe! MRS. POPOV. Where is Dascha? [_Calling._] Dascha! Pelageja! Dascha! [_She rings._] LUKA. They're all gone! I'm ill. Water! MRS. POPOV [_to Smirnov_]. Leave! Get out! SMIRNOV. Kindly be a little more polite! MRS. POPOV [_striking her fists and stamping her feet_]. You are vulgar! You're a boor! A monster! SMIRNOV. Wh--at did you say? MRS. POPOV. I said you were a boor, a monster! SMIRNOV [_steps toward her quickly_]. Permit me to ask what right you have to insult me? MRS. POPOV. Yes, I insult you. What of it? Do you think I am afraid of you? SMIRNOV. And you think that because you are a romantic creature that you can insult me without being punished? I challenge you! Now you have it. LUKA. Merciful heaven! Water! SMIRNOV. We'll have a duel. MRS. POPOV. Do you think because you have big fists and a steer's neck that I am afraid of you? SMIRNOV. That is the limit! I allow no one to insult me and I make no exception because you are a woman, one of the "weaker sex"! MRS. POPOV [_trying to cry him down_]. Boor, boor, boor! SMIRNOV. It is high time to do away with the old superstition that it is only a man who is forced to give satisfaction. If there is equity at all let there be equity in all things. There's a limit! MRS. POPOV. You wish to fight a duel? Very well. SMIRNOV. Immediately. MRS. POPOV. Immediately. My husband had pistols. I'll bring them. [_She hurries away, then turns._] Oh, what a pleasure it will be to put a bullet in your impudent head. The devil take you! [_She goes out._] SMIRNOV. I'll shoot her down! I'm no fledgling, no sentimental, young puppy. For me there is no weaker sex. LUKA. Oh, sir. [_Falls to his knees._] Have mercy on me, an old man, and go away. You have frightened me to death already and now you want to fight a duel. SMIRNOV [_paying no attention_]. A duel. That's equity, that's emancipation. That way the sexes are made equal. I'll shoot her down as a matter of principle. What can a person say to such a woman? [_Imitating her._] "The devil take you. I'll put a bullet in your impudent head." What can a person say to that? She was angry, her eyes blazed, she accepted the challenge. On my honor it's the first time in my life that I ever saw such a woman. LUKA. Oh, sir. Go away. Go away from here. SMIRNOV. That _is_ a woman. I can understand her. A real woman. No shilly-shallying, but fire, powder, and noise! It would be a pity to shoot a woman like that. LUKA [_weeping_]. Oh, sir; go away. [_Enter Mrs. Popov._] MRS. POPOV. Here are the pistols. But before we have our duel please show me how to shoot. I have never had a pistol in my hand before! LUKA. God be merciful and have pity upon us! I'll go and get the gardener and the coachman. Why has this horror come to us! [_He goes out._]