ADOLF. It was I who fed her up with praise, even when I thought her work
was no good. It was I who introduced her into literary sets, and tried
to make her feel herself in clover; defended her against criticism by my
personal intervention. I blew courage into her, kept on blowing it for
so long that I got out of breath myself. I gave and gave and gave--until
nothing was left for me myself. Do you know--I'm going to tell you the
whole story--do you know how the thing seems to me now? One's
temperament is such an extraordinary thing, and when my artistic
successes looked as though they would eclipse her--her prestige--I tried
to buck her up by belittling myself and by representing that my art was
one that was inferior to hers. I talked so much of the general
insignificant rôle of my particular art, and harped on it so much,
thought of so many good reasons for my contention, that one fine day I
myself was soaked through and through with the worthlessness of the
painter's art; so all that was left was a house of cards for you to blow
down.
GUSTAV. Excuse my reminding you of what you said, but at the beginning
of our conversation you were asserting that she took nothing from you.
ADOLF. She doesn't--now, at any rate; now there is nothing left to
take.
GUSTAV. So the snake has gorged herself, and now she vomits.
ADOLF. Perhaps she took more from me than I knew of.
GUSTAV. Oh, you can reckon on that right enough--she took without your
noticing it. [_He goes behind the square table and comes in front of the
sofa._] That's what people call stealing.
ADOLF. Then what it comes to is that she hasn't educated me at all?
GUSTAV. Rather you her. Of course she knew the trick well enough of
making you believe the contrary. Might I ask how she pretended to
educate you?
ADOLF. Oh--at first--hum!
GUSTAV. Well? [_He leans his arms on the table._]
ADOLF. Well, I--
GUSTAV. No; it was she--she.
ADOLF. As a matter of fact I couldn't say which it was.
GUSTAV. You see.
ADOLF. Besides, she destroyed my faith as well, and so I went backward
until you came, old chap, and gave me a new faith.
GUSTAV [_he laughs_]. In sculpture?
[_He turns round by the square table and comes to Adolf's right._]
ADOLF [_hesitating_]. Yes.
GUSTAV. And you believed in it?--in that abstract, obsolete art from the
childhood of the world. Do you believe that by means of pure form and
three dimensions--no, you don't really--that you can produce an effect
on the real spirit of this age of ours, that you can create illusions
without color? Without color, I say. Do you believe that?
ADOLF [_tonelessly_]. No.
GUSTAV. Nor do I.
ADOLF. But why did you say you did?
GUSTAV. You make me pity you.
ADOLF. Yes, I am indeed to be pitied. And now I'm bankrupt,
absolutely--and the worst of it is I haven't got her any more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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