"Well, ma'am," continued Joe, "let me advise you to sweep yer chimleys once a month. When your chimley gets afire the sparks they get out, and when sparks get out of a windy night there's no tellin' what they won't light up. It's my opinion, ma'am, that them as makes the laws should more nor double the fines for chimleys goin' afire. But suppose, ma'am, your house gets alight in spite of you--well then, the question is what's best to do?" Mrs Denman nodded her old head six or seven times, as though to say, "That is precisely the question." "I'll tell you, ma'am,"--here Joe held up the fore-finger of his right hand impressively. "In the first place, every one in a house ought to know all the outs and ins of it, 'cause if you've got to look for things for the first time when the cry of `Fire' is raised, it's not likely that you'll find 'em. Now, d'ye know, or do the servants know, or does anybody in the house know, where the trap in the roof is?" Mrs Denman appeared to meditate for a minute, and then said that she was not sure. She herself did not know, and she thought the servants might be ignorant on the point, but she rather thought there was an old one in the pantry, but they had long kept a cat, and so didn't require it. "Och!" exclaimed Joe, with a broad grin, "sure it's a trap-door I'm spakin' of." Mrs Denman professed utter ignorance on this point, and when told that it ought to be known to every one in the house as a mode of escape in the event of fire, she mildly requested to know what she would have to do if there were such a trap. "Why, get out on the roof to be sure," (Mrs Denman shivered) "and get along the tiles to the next house," (Mrs Denman shut her eyes and shuddered) "an' so make yer escape. Then you should have a ladder fixed to this trap-door so as it couldn't be took away, and ye should have some dozen fathoms o' half-inch rope always handy, cause if ye was cut off from the staircase by fire an' from the roof by smoke ye might have to let yourself down from a windy. It's as well, too, to know how to knot sheets and blankets together, so that the ties won't slip, for if you have no rope they'd be better than nothin'. You should also have a hand-pump, ma'am, and a bucket of water always handy, 'cause if you take a fire at the beginnin' it's easy put out. An' it's as well to know that you should go into a room on fire on your hands and knees, with your nose close to the ground--just as a pinter-dog goes--'cause there's more air there than overhead; an' it's better to go in wi' the hand-pump the first thing. Don't wait to dress, ma'am." "Stop, stop, Mr Corney!" cried Mrs Denman, holding up her hand.