The narcissist lacks empathy - the ability to put himself in
other people's shoes. He does not recognize boundaries -
personal, corporate, or legal. Everything and everyone are
to him mere instruments, extensions, objects
unconditionally and uncomplainingly available in his
pursuit of narcissistic gratification.
This makes the narcissist perniciously exploitative. He
uses, abuses, devalues, and discards even his nearest and
dearest in the most chilling manner. The narcissist is
utility- driven, obsessed with his overwhelming need to
reduce his anxiety and regulate his labile sense of self-
worth by securing a constant supply of his drug -
attention. American executives acted without
compunction when they raided their employees' pension
funds - as did Robert Maxwell a generation earlier in
Britain.
The narcissist is convinced of his superiority - cerebral or
physical. To his mind, he is a Gulliver hamstrung by a
horde of narrow-minded and envious Lilliputians. The
dotcom "new economy" was infested with "visionaries"
with a contemptuous attitude towards the mundane:
profits, business cycles, conservative economists, doubtful
journalists, and cautious analysts.
Yet, deep inside, the narcissist is painfully aware of his
addiction to others - their attention, admiration, applause,
and affirmation. He despises himself for being thus
dependent. He hates people the same way a drug addict
hates his pusher. He wishes to "put them in their place",
humiliate them, demonstrate to them how inadequate and
imperfect they are in comparison to his regal self and how
little he craves or needs them.
The narcissist regards himself as one would an expensive
present, a gift to his company, to his family, to his
neighbours, to his colleagues, to his country. This firm
conviction of his inflated importance makes him feel
entitled to special treatment, special favors, special
outcomes, concessions, subservience, immediate
gratification, obsequiousness, and lenience. It also makes
him feel immune to mortal laws and somehow divinely
protected and insulated from the inevitable consequences
of his deeds and misdeeds.
The self-destructive narcissist plays the role of the "bad
guy" (or "bad girl"). But even this is within the traditional
social roles cartoonishly exaggerated by the narcissist to
attract attention. Men are likely to emphasise intellect,
power, aggression, money, or social status. Narcissistic
women are likely to emphasise body, looks, charm,
sexuality, feminine "traits", homemaking, children and
childrearing.
Punishing the wayward narcissist is a veritable catch-22.
A jail term is useless as a deterrent if it only serves to
focus attention on the narcissist. Being infamous is second
best to being famous - and far preferable to being ignored.
The only way to effectively punish a narcissist is to
withhold narcissistic supply from him and thus to prevent
him from becoming a notorious celebrity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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