The narcissist is entitled to a "special treatment": high
living standards, constant and immediate catering to his
needs, the eradication of any friction with the humdrum
and the routine, an all-engulfing absolution of his sins,
fast track privileges (to higher education, or in his
encounters with bureaucracies, for instance). Punishment,
trusts the narcissist, is for ordinary people, where no great
loss to humanity is involved.
Narcissists are possessed of inordinate abilities to charm,
to convince, to seduce, and to persuade. Many of them are
gifted orators and intellectually endowed. Many of them
work in in politics, the media, fashion, show business, the
arts, medicine, or business, and serve as religious leaders.
By virtue of their standing in the community, their
charisma, or their ability to find the willing scapegoats,
they do get exempted many times. Having recurrently
"got away with it" - they develop a theory of personal
immunity, founded upon some kind of societal and even
cosmic "order" in which certain people are above
punishment.
But there is a fourth, simpler, explanation. The narcissist
lacks self-awareness. Divorced from his true self, unable
to empathise (to understand what it is like to be someone
else), unwilling to constrain his actions to cater to the
feelings and needs of others - the narcissist is in a constant
dreamlike state.
To the narcissist, his life is unreal, like watching an
autonomously unfolding movie. The narcissist is a mere
spectator, mildly interested, greatly entertained at times.
He does not "own" his actions. He, therefore, cannot
understand why he should be punished and when he is, he
feels grossly wronged.
So convinced is the narcissist that he is destined to great
things - that he refuses to accept setbacks, failures and
punishments. He regards them as temporary, as the
outcomes of someone else's errors, as part of the future
mythology of his rise to power/brilliance/wealth/ideal
love, etc. Being punished is a diversion of his precious
energy and resources from the all-important task of
fulfilling his mission in life.
The narcissist is pathologically envious of people and
believes that they are equally envious of him. He is
paranoid, on guard, ready to fend off an imminent attack.
A punishment to the narcissist is a major surprise and a
nuisance but it also validates his suspicion that he is being
persecuted. It proves to him that strong forces are arrayed
against him.
He tells himself that people, envious of his achievements
and humiliated by them, are out to get him. He constitutes
a threat to the accepted order. When required to pay for
his misdeeds, the narcissist is always disdainful and bitter
and feels misunderstood by his inferiors.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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