First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 2 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
But hope, on such a subject, was not consistent with honour, with
duty—how then could a virtuous mind cling to it with unalloyed felicity.
Conscience spoke, and demanded a sacrifice!—a sacrifice which the heart
knew not how to yield! His secret wishes now seemed his accusers; and
dear as they had long been, he next strove to deny, even to himself,
their actual existence. But the compromise was not accepted; still
conscience repeated, that it was his duty to fly a temptation, which he
evidently had not strength to resist. Should the discovery of his birth
never be made; or, when made, should it not prove such as to give him
pretensions to Julia’s hand; was it consistent with honour and right
feeling, that he should, during the period of uncertainty, endeavour to
gain her affections—perhaps succeed in so doing! But this thought again
bewildered, again left him incapable of a rational reflection, or a right
resolve.
Such is the mental warfare, such the wild rebellion of will, which lays
waste the peace of him, who suffers the voice of passion to mingle in the
counsels of conscience.
Edmund slept; still undecided, and in his dreams endured once more a
recapitulation of each anxious feeling, and unfinished conflict.
CHAPTER XVIII.
“Weary not with thy vain words her whose faith
Is Fingall’s.
… Why should these eyes behold it?”
As the sisters were descending to breakfast, Frances returned up stairs
for some violets which Alice had with great difficulty procured for
her, and which she had forgotten on her dressing table, while Julia
proceeded towards a room their party had occupied the evening before.
But on entering and perceiving Henry seated alone reading a newspaper,
and no appearance of even preparation for breakfast, she was about
to retire. “You may as well stay where you are, I think,” said Henry.
“If it was Edmund that was here you would not be in such a hurry to
make off.” Fearful of irritating him after his alarming threats of
last night, poor Julia directed her steps to the furthest removed
window, and stood looking out. Henry continued reading for some time.
Edmund’s voice was heard in the hall calling to a favourite dog. Henry
suddenly rose, approached Julia, knelt on one knee before her, and
took her hand. She was surprised; for, when alone with her, he was
not in the habit of troubling her with any affectation of tenderness;
and she was particularly sorry that he had chosen the present moment.
Before she could remonstrate, or succeed in disengaging her hand, she
heard footsteps; and, looking up, saw Edmund advancing along the
gallery towards the door, which she had left open for the purpose of
rendering her unwilling interview with Henry as little of a private one
as possible. Our hero looked into the room, hesitated for a moment,
and retired. Henry, after throwing a glance over his shoulder, rose
carelessly, and, without taking the trouble of explaining his late
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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