After bolting an apology for a lunch, I drove back to Lambert Road in a
fourwheeler. During the journey, I contrived to become Agar Hume again,
for I did not wish the people in my little inn to see a dozen different
persons using my room as if it belonged to them. The driver stared at
me aghast when I alighted. He had taken up an old man, and he put down
a young one. I detest sharp-eyed cab-drivers, they are a public
nuisance.
It was striking two as I entered my bedroom. At half-past, I resembled
J. Stelfox Steele as closely as I wished. In order to make up the
difference in our heights, I was obliged to resort to a rather
inconvenient trick. I took off my bed-clothes and spread them doubled
on the floor of my sitting-room, at my own side of the table. These I
covered with mats, and set my chair over all. I sprang thus two inches,
in as many minutes, whether seated or erect, but I could not leave my
pedestal, without losing those same inches; wherefore the
inconvenience. I dislike tricks of that sort, but it is my rule never
to neglect any detail that I am aware of, and as my pedestal was hidden
by the table-cloth, and, moreover, I could not perceive any necessity
to walk about during the forthcoming interview, I had really very
little to grumble at. My last act was to don a huge brown beard, and a
pair of goggles. These made me look like an old hayseed farmer, but J.
Stelfox Steele was underneath the disguise waiting to disclose himself.
When it wanted ten minutes to the hour, I left my bedroom, the door of
which I locked, entered my sitting-room, and, mounting my pedestal, I
sat down to wait. I had previously arranged a screen before the outer
door, so that the servant who would show up Mr. Sims might not look in
and remark my latest transformation.
I mention these details, not because they were of any urgent moment,
but to evidence the amount of attention and forethought which I had
bestowed upon the business in hand. The fact is, in my experience, it
is always some absurdly finicking trifle, which, when neglected, brings
disaster to the greatest undertakings. I was once hissed off the stage
at Newcastle-on-Tyne, when attempting to impersonate Mr. Gladstone,
because, forsooth, although my disguise was elsewise perfect, I had not
remembered to change a pair of sharp-toed boots which I had worn a few
minutes earlier while imitating Mr. Greatorex, a dandified celebrity of
local fame. That failure had been a very bitter pill to swallow at the
time, but it was of more real use to me than all my triumphs put
together, and I never forgot the lesson that it inculcated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account