[BETTY, a middle-aged servant, is fastening a hammock--its first
appearance this year--between two trees at the back. In front of these
there is a solid oak garden-table, with a comfortable chair on the right
of it and a straight-backed one on the left. There are books, papers,
and magazines on the table. BELINDA, of whom we shall know more
presently, is on the other side of the open windows which look on to the
garden, talking to BETTY.]
BELINDA (from inside the house). Are you sure you're tying it up tightly
enough, Betty?
BETTY (coming to front of hammock). Yes, ma'am; I think it's firm.
BELINDA. Because I'm not the fairy I used to be.
BETTY (trying the knots at the other end of the hammock). Yes, ma'am;
it's quite firm this end too.
BELINDA. It's not the ends I'm frightened of; it's the middle where the
weight's coming. (She comes into the garden.) It looks very nice.
BETTY. Yes, ma'am.
BELINDA (trying the middle of it with her hand). I asked them at the
Stores if they were quite _sure_ it would bear me, and they said it
would take anything up to--I forget how many tons. I know I thought it
was rather rude of them. (Looking at it anxiously) How does one get in?
So trying to be a sailor!
BETTY. I think you sit in it, ma'am, and then (explaining with her
hands) throw your legs over.
BELINDA. I see. (She sits gingerly in the hammock, and then, with a
sudden flutter of white, does what BETTY suggests.) Yes. (Regretfully.)
I'm afraid that was rather wasted on you, Betty. We must have some
spectators next time.
BETTY. Yes, ma'am.
BELINDA. Cushions. (She arranges them at her back with BETTY'S help.
With a sigh of comfort) There! Now then, Betty, about callers.
BETTY. Yes, ma'am.
BELINDA. If Mr. Baxter calls--he is the rather prim gentleman--
BETTY. Yes, ma'am; the one who's been here several times before.
BELINDA (giving BETTY a quick look). Yes. Well, if he calls, you'll say,
"Not at home."
BETTY. Yes, ma'am.
BELINDA. He will say, "Oh--er--oh--er--really." Then you'll smile very
sweetly and say, "I beg your pardon, was it Mr. _Baxter_?" And he'll
say, "Yes!" and you'll say, "Oh, I beg your pardon, sir; _this_ way,
please."
BETTY. Yes, ma'am.
BELINDA. That's right, Betty. Well now, if Mr. Devenish calls--he is the
rather poetical gentleman--
BETTY. Yes, ma'am; the one who's always coming here.
BELINDA (with a pleased smile). Yes. Well, if he calls you'll say, "Not
at home."
BETTY. Yes, ma'am.
BELINDA. He'll immediately throw down his bunch of flowers and dive
despairingly into the moat. You'll stop him, just as he is going in, and
say, "I beg your pardon, sir, was it Mr. _Devenish_?" And he will
say, "Yes!" and you will say, "Oh, I beg your pardon, sir; _this_ way,
please."
BETTY. Yes, ma'am. And suppose they both call together?
BELINDA. We won't suppose anything so exciting, Betty.
BETTY. No, ma'am. And suppose any other gentleman calls?
BELINDA (with a sigh). There aren't any other gentlemen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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