Suddenly his two companions became intolerable to Julian. He thought them
stupid, boorish, dense, devoid of the senses of common humanity, not to
see what he saw, not to feel as he felt,--that this vague flame had a
meaning and a message not yet interpreted, perhaps not even remotely
divined. With an angry exclamation he sprang to his feet, turning once
more to the stage. And as the curtain fell, he distinctly saw the flame
glowing like a long and curiously shaped star above the head of Margaret.
And this man and woman would not see it! A sudden enmity to them both
came to him in that moment. He abruptly opened the door of the box, and
went out without another word to either of them. Cuckoo's voice shrilly
calling to him to stop did not affect his resolution and desire to escape
from them if only for a moment.
Out in the corridor at the back of the dress circle people were beginning
to circulate, relieved from the tension of examining the ballet. Julian
was instantly swallowed up in a noisy crowd, hot, flushed, loud-voiced,
bright-eyed. Masses of excited young men lounged to and fro, smoking
cigarettes, and making fervent remarks upon the gaily dressed women, who
glided among them observantly. From the adjoining bar rose the music of
popping corks and flowing liquids. The barmaids were besieged. Clouds of
smoke hung in the air, and the heat was terrific. Julian felt it clinging
to him as if with human arms as he slowly walked over the thick carpet,
glancing about him. Humanity touched him on every side. At one moment an
elderly woman, with yellow hair and a fat-lined face, enveloped him in
her skirts of scarlet and black striped silk. The black chiffon that
swept about her neck and heaving shoulders fluttered against his face.
Her high-heeled boots trod on his. He seemed one with her. Then she had
vanished, and instantly he was in the arms of a huge racing-man, who wore
gigantic pink pearls in his shirt front, and bellowed the latest slang to
a thin and dissipated companion. It seemed to Julian that he was kicked
like a football from one life to another, and that from each life he drew
away something as he bounded from it, the fragment of a thought, the
thrill of a desire, the indrawn breath of a hope. Like a machine that
winds in threads of various coloured silks, he wound in threads from the
various coloured hearts about him,--red, white, coarse, and fine. And,
half-unconsciously, was he not weaving them into a fabric? Never before
had he understood the meaning of a crowd, that strange congregation of
passions and of fates which speaks in movements and is melodious in
attitudes, which quarrels in all its parts, silently, yet is swayed
through and through by large impulses, and as an intellect far more keen
and assertively critical than the intellect of any one person in it. And
now, when Julian began to feel the meaning of this surging mob of men and
women, the hours danced, and he and all the crowd danced with them. And
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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