She met him very quietly, almost seriously, and he shook hands with
her as if they had been together quite recently and parted the best of
friends. Only, as he held her hand, she noticed that he cast a hasty, and
as she fancied a fearful, glance into her eyes. Then he seemed reassured
and they sat down to tea. Cuckoo supposed that he had for the moment
dreaded what she called another row, and was satisfied by her expression
of good temper. They drank their tea, and after a short interval of
constraint began chattering together very much as usual. At first Cuckoo
had hardly dared to look much at Julian, lest he should see the joy she
felt at his coming, but when she was pouring out his second cup she let
her eyes rest fully on his face, and only then did she realize that a
shadow lay upon it, a shadow from which it had been free before.
With a trembling hand she filled the cup and stared upon the shadow.
She knew its brethren so well. In dead days she herself had helped to
manufacture such shadows upon the faces of men. She had seen them come,
thin, faint, delicate, impalpable as a veil of mist before morning. Only
morning light never followed them. And she had seen them stay and grow
and deepen and darken. Shadow over the eyes of the man, shadow round his
lips, shadow like a cloud upon the forehead, shadow over the picture
painted by the soul, working through the features, that we call
expression. Many times had she seen the journey taken by a man's face
to that haunted bourne, arrived at which it is scarcely any more a man's
face, but only a mask expressive of one, or of many, sins. Had Julian
then definitely set foot upon that journey? As yet the shadow that lay
over him was no more than the lightest film, suggestive of a slightly
unnatural and forbidding fatigue. Yet Cuckoo shrank from it as from a
ghost.
"Why, Cuckoo, your hand is trembling!" Julian said.
"Oh, I was out late last night," she answered, putting the teapot hastily
down. And they talked on, pretending there were only two of them and no
shadowy third.
Julian, having returned at last to the Marylebone Road, fell into his
old habit of coming there often. And each time that he came the lady of
the feathers counted a fresh step on his hideous journey towards the
haunted bourne. Yet she never spoke of the dreary addition sum she was
doing. She never reproached Julian, or wept, or let him see that her
heart was growing cold as a pilgrim who kneels, bare, in long prayers
upon the steps of a shrine. For she had learnt wisdom, and hugged it in
her arms. Valentine was scarcely ever mentioned between them; but once,
and evidently by accident, Julian allowed an expression to escape him
which implied that Valentine now objected to the intimacy with Cuckoo.
Immediately the words were uttered, Julian looked confused, and obviously
would have wished to recall them, had it been possible.
"Oh, I know as he don't like me," Cuckoo said.
Julian answered nothing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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