As he said the last words, he stopped opposite to Cuckoo, suddenly caught
her chin in his two hands, which felt hard and cold, and forcibly pushed
up her face towards his. She was terrified, beginning now to think him
mad, and to fear personal injury. Gazing hard and furtively into her
eyes, he said:
"No; it's a lie! It is not there. It never was! It is dead and finished
with, and I won't fear it."
As if struck by the fatigue of some sudden reaction, he sank down again
into his chair, and went on with his apparently fantastic monologue:
"And if it was ever alive, what could it do? A soul can't work, except
through a body; it must fasten on a body, and bend the body to its
will--man is such a creature that he can only be influenced through flesh
and blood, nerves, sinews, eyes, things he can see, things that he can
hear. He is so grovelling that nothing more delicate than these really
appeals to him."
Again, and this time with less abstraction, and with a sort of
contemptuous humour, he turned to the lady of the feathers, and
continued, as if once more aware of her presence:
"Are you imbibing my gospel, the gospel of will and of influence? I see
you are by your pretty attitude and by the engaging face you are making
at me. Well, don't get it wrong. A gospel gone wrong in a mind is
dangerous, and worse than no gospel at all. If you get this gospel wrong
you may become conceited, and fancy yourself possessed of a power which
you haven't a notion of. To use will in any really affective way, you
must train your body, and take care of it, not ruin it, and let it run
to seed, or grow disfigured, or a ghastly tell-tale, a truth-teller, a
town-crier with a big bell going about and calling aloud all the silly
or criminal things you do. Now you have forgotten this, or perhaps you
never knew it, and so will could not work in you; not even, I believe,
a malign will to do mischief. You have thrown your body to the wolves,
and whoever looks upon you must see the marks of their teeth."
It was evident that he gloated on this idea that the body of the lady of
the feathers was forever useless for good, and even powerless to do much
effective evil. He seemed to revel in the notion that she was simply a
thing powerless, negative, and totally vain.
"I was mad ever to imagine the contrary," he said. Then, glancing away
from personality, he exclaimed with more energy:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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